The hiking boot came out of nowhere and slammed against the side of my face. My glasses went flying across the room and I fell to the floor.
In the background I heard crying.
Max was angry; Mom was going out. He had begun to pound the window overlooking the driveway with his fist. I told him that if he broke the window I would have to call an ambulance because he would be cut and bleeding.
“I don’t care!!”
As he continued to pound I grabbed my phone.
But I turned away.
And then it happened.
In the initial moments after my fall I thought that my jaw had been broken. I couldn’t open it.
Later I realized that a visit to a chiropractor would take care of the problem. But I couldn’t open my mouth wide enough to eat solid food until the end of the day.
The crying I heard in the background was my son realizing how badly he had hurt me.
Max stayed away from me for the rest of the day. I didn’t go out of my way to speak to him either. I was still stunned and disappointed that he would do something like this.
Before his bedtime I noticed that there was a lump on my face just above where the bottom jaw connects. It was under the sideburn which has gotten pretty bushy of late so it was pretty hidden.
I went into the living room; Max was sitting staring at the wall very unhappy. I sat down beside him. I took his hand and ran it up and down the side of my face. The look on his face became even sadder.
“I love you more than anything else in the world. You know that, Max.” He nodded.
“This has got to stop. I have to keep you safe and I have to keep Mommy and me safe. That means if this keeps up you will not be able to live here anymore.”
“It is not enough to say that you know. You have to do something about it. I understand that you are only 11 and may not know what to do but you have people that are working with you. You have an advocate, therapist, and family therapist that want to help you. And you have parents who love you and want to be there for you but this has to stop!”
Over the past week I have seen him throw rocks into the woods to let off steam. Ordinarily when he is in the house he will throw things against the wall or across the room.
But he isn’t targeting us during these rages.
I want to believe that.
No, I’m kidding myself. Things are changing with Max. He is 11 now and getting close to his teenage years. The testosterone is starting to build and I am worried where this is going to lead.
Recently a reader commented that their son “used to have HORRIBLE anger issues” but had gotten through it by high school graduation.
I am ecstatic for their son. But I am worried about Max.
Worried that he won’t get through this.
Will end up in prison.
That someone will get seriously hurt…or worse.