Posts in month: June, 2010

Max was very excited.  Today was his school’s yearly trip to Canobie Lake Park.  This is an amusement park located in New Hampshire. It’s not bad for me either.  I get to chaperone.  And since we both love the rides it promised to be a great day.

Oh, and did I mention that as a chaperone I get a huge discount on the ticket price?

There was an added bonus this year.  We got lunch too.  There is a barbeque area where they had hot dogs and hamburgers waiting for us.

Lunch started as soon as we arrived.  But even though I sat down to have a nice meal Max was way too excited.  He choked down a hot dog and left the bun.  He spent the rest of this period jumping up and down; urging me to hurry up so we could ride already!!!

First thing we did was to get a wrist band.  This is for special needs kids who have a major difficulty waiting in line to get on the rides.  It allows them to get on earlier.  This may sound unfair but trust me you don’t want to have several of these kids tantruming at the same time when they are waiting with you.

In fact, generally you won’t even notice that one of these children is getting on the ride you are waiting for.  They have to stand at the ride exit until an attendant lets them in.  Then they may have to wait a couple of turns before eventually being placed with someone who is sitting alone.

Today, however, was not really the best day for the wrist band.  It works very well when there are big crowds.  But today it was drizzling and cool.  Not too many people showed up so there wasn’t much of a wait anyway.

Once the band was on his wrist Max and I started enjoying ourselves.  Our first ride was a swing that goes around in a circle.  Imagine a merry-go-round.  But the swings are all single seats and are raised in the air before being whipped around in a circle.  Very cool…but too short.

Then Max got to drive for the first time on an antique car.  I sat in the back seat and watched how he pressed the gas peddle and used the steering wheel.  He was a little hyper so he was whipping the wheel from side to side and bouncing off the center track.  These are regular cars that are set to travel at 5 miles an hour.  The center track is a guide forcing you to stay on the course.  He loved being in control.

Then came my most favorite ride.  It is called the Yankee Cannonball.  It is one of those old wooden rollercoasters that, until just a few years ago, was the largest of its kind.  It was built in 1930 and is a very bumpy ride; not smooth like the newer ones.  Even though Max rode it several times today, this was my last ride.  You see, he found some friends to play with afterwards and just left me trailing behind.

I won’t continue with all the rides he went on except to say that there was one that he was kicked off of.  This was called the Star Blaster.  It is one of those rides where you sit in the seat and then get raised up very high in the air.  It then goes into freefall; you scream all the way down.  And then it bounces up and down until it stops.

For some reason he was allowed onto the ride.  They strapped him into the seat.  Then one attendant came along, determined that he was too small, and removed him.  Poor Max.  Not only was he being told he was too young but he was embarrassed because his friends had been sitting beside him.  This was the only ride that he wasn’t allowed on!

But this isn’t all about going to an amusement park and having fun.  It is about Max.  He kept getting more and more hyper.  My wife later commented that she thought the rides would calm him down like they usually do.  Nope!  He just kept getting wilder and wilder.  It got so bad I started considering taking him home early.

I didn’t have to worry however.  He found one ride, a large log flume that specializes in getting people soaking wet.  And I mean drenched!  It is great on a hot sunny day because it cools you down.  Then even though your clothes are dripping wet the sun dries them in no time.

Today it was a different story.  It was cool and drizzling so clothes never dried off.  A lot of people were going into restrooms and using the hand dryers to get rid of the water.

Max kept going on this one over and over again.  As he did he also got colder and wetter.  I had a towel with me that he had been using earlier in the park’s swimming pool.  I used it to wrap around him every time he got off.  The more he rode the quieter and less wild he got.  He didn’t get calmer, just more internalized.  I could tell because he starting staring off into space.

When he was riding I starting talking to a woman beside me.  Her daughter was sitting with Max on the flume.  She mentioned how we would never understand her daughter.  I smiled and described some of the ways my son acts and she became very excited.  She had found someone else that could understand what she goes through.

Too many people believe that we are bad parents that let our kids get away with bad behavior.  They don’t understand the issues surrounding disorders such as Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, and Asperger’s Syndrome.

While we talked Max and her daughter rode the flume almost 10 times.  At the end of it he requested that I wrap him very tightly with the towel and then guide him back to the car.  He was groggy and glassy eyed now.  He really wanted to stay but he realized that he wasn’t going to be able to continue.  I had to help him into the car and buckle him in.

By the time we got home he had settled down and was relaxed and happy.

He had his moments today but surprisingly he handled himself well.  When he was kicked off the ride he was upset and walked away.  Usually he will have a huge meltdown requiring us to remove him from public areas.

This was a day that he could have fun and not worry about being calm and in control.  And I had fun too…though I would have liked to have gone on more rides with him.  But hey, the summer is young.

Night terrors and sleep walking are very common in bipolar children.  “For these children, dreams of explicit violence, gore and death are a common symptom“.

“Normal” children may occasionally have them but they are quickly forgotten once a parent has comforted them and they settle down to sleep again.  This is generally outgrown as they get older.

Bipolar children can have them constantly through the night but like other children they don’t remember them when they are awake.

These children may also sleepwalk as well.  This is when a child only partially awakens from sleep and begins to move around.  It is not particularly dangerous as long as the room is “child-proofed”.  In this case it means locking windows and doors and making sure there is nothing dangerous that may hurt her.

My son has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.  At night after we put him to bed my wife and I curl up on the couch downstairs to watch our favorite programs.

On most nights there are interruptions.  Sometimes they are mundane things like car doors slamming on the street outside.  It can even be high school kids wandering around the streets at night.

But most often the issues involve Max.  Generally he is asleep within moments of his head hitting the pillow but it is later on when things start to happen.

• Sometimes he talks in his sleep

He will talk to someone in his dreams.  Generally he uses just single words or phrases.  Without being able to put things in context it is hard to figure out what is on his mind.

• Other times he uses the most foul language in his sleep

In these cases we pretty much know what the problem is.  He is angry with someone in a dream.  He is telling them exactly how he feels about them. I guess they won’t misunderstand him when it is this direct.

• Then there are the night terrors

Something frightens him.  It may have happened in a dream. But it can also result from coming partially awake and believing something is in the room.   In these cases he will yell.  By the time we get up the stairs we find that he is deep in sleep and doesn’t have any awareness that we have come into the room.

• And he sleep walks

When we hear a noise we immediately turn the sound off on the television and wait.  Sometimes we have to run upstairs to make sure Max is okay.  Other times it ends as quickly as it starts and we can go back to what we are doing knowing that he has settled back to sleep.

But at least once a week it gets a little more exciting.  Max will appear at the top of the stairs:

“You F(*&*(* B*&(^* people!!”

He will either walk or run down the stairs but either way when he gets to the bottom he will stare glassy eyed at us.  He won’t say another word until my wife goes up to him quietly:

“Max, do you need a drink?”

She will steer him out of the living room.  Otherwise he will flop down on the couch and try to go back to sleep.  Most often he will sip some chocolate milk or water.

If that doesn’t work she will ask, “Do you need to go to the toilet?”

Occasionally he will then allow her to guide him into the bathroom.

But there are the nights when neither will work.  Last night was one of those.  My wife and I were quietly watching “The Bachelorette”.  She went out to the kitchen to start her evening tea.  Then I heard something crashing down the stairs.

I softly called to my wife, “Here he comes.”

She came in just in time to hear the usual comment, “You F(*&*(* B*&(^* people!!”

Tonight he immediately went to the couch and lay down.  We asked the usual questions but he wasn’t having any of that.  He was going to stay here and stare at the television.    We finally convinced him to go back upstairs to bed.  I could hear him continue the swearing as he got into it.

My wife was back down within seconds of bringing him up.  I asked why all the noise up there.  She told me that he had gone to bed earlier with two shirts and a pair of jeans on.  Right now she had tried to convince him that he would be too hot and he would be waking up all night.  She ended up letting it go because she didn’t want him to wake all the way up.

As it was he finally slept through the night.

It’s at times like this that I wonder if he is fully, or even partially, awake.

In all of these cases he may have one or more episodes during the night.  However, when he awakens in the morning he has absolutely no recollection of any of them.  He may remember that he had had a bad dream but he won’t believe that he yelled, swore, or even walked in his sleep.

If your child sleepwalks quietly guide him back to bed, just like we do with Max.  If she suffers night terrors remember doctors do not consider them serious.  There are a number of things you can do to treat them including making sure that your child gets enough sleep.  If she thrashes too much gently restrain her so she doesn’t get hurt.

Most experts agree that these children will outgrow night terrors and sleepwalking just like the “normal” ones.  But in the mean time comfort them and keep them safe.

Max has discovered the Battleship Game.  This is a guessing game where each player has their own game board to position ships. The other player has to guess where each is positioned.

From out of nowhere last Saturday morning the idea to play popped into his head. It was early morning but I was already doing some work. When he suggested it I jumped at the chance. I thought it was a great idea and it had been a long time since I had played it.

Now he wants to continuously play the games with his Mom or Dad. We don’t just play one game at a time; we have marathon sessions where each one contains several games. And each session has been different:

• In our first session Max concentrated very hard. It was almost like playing chess. He was thinking several moves ahead and kept imagining what my configuration was. I had to keep reminding him that it was his turn. It was the perfect time. It was 7 o’clock in the morning and his Mom was still asleep. He was calm and cool and knew how to plan his attack. And of course he beat his Dad.

• We played session 2 twelve hours later. It was 7 p.m. and Max was very spacey. It was not a good time to play. He wasn’t able to concentrate and I could not keep him on track. I kept threatening to quit but each time it would upset him because he really wanted to play. I tried to motivate him to keep going by suggesting things that he could do but he couldn’t really hear me. I was finally able to get the last game over by actually moving my pieces to spots that he had guessed. Later my wife commented that she could hear me from the other room. According to her I was badgering him to get it done. I’ve got to watch that.

• In session number 3 the next day he was back to the mode he was in in session 1. But things were still different. He became very involved as he did earlier. But this time he had to copy our configurations from each game on paper. He wanted to remember the best positions for the next time he played. So as each game ended he would painstakingly draw each on a piece of paper as he kept both game boards in front of him.

I have loved playing these games with Max. But I could see two different things from these sessions:

1. Depending on the time of day it would determine which of his symptoms would appear. At 7 in the morning his medications would have started working so he would be able to concentrate just like homework mornings. At 7 at night they had started wearing off and he would slowly lose his concentration and eventually lose control.
2. A lot of the things he was doing appeared “normal”. This was certainly due to the meds but even at the end of the day it just appears that he is getting tired and ready to go to bed like any other kid. It’s at times like this I start wondering if he really needs to be on medication at all.

But I know it is easy to fall into this trap. So many people meet Max during his good periods and don’t understand why he is getting medication. And being his Dad I would like him to be “normal” too. I mean, how many times can you say “he has ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, and Asperger’s Syndrome.”

But as long he keeps learning the tools to function and we keep educating ourselves and talking to other parents there may come a time we won’t have to worry so much.

Hah, my Mom is 85 and she still worries about her 50-somthing son!

But I’ll continue to play Battleship with him as much as he likes. I’ll play catch and go on trips with him. And I’ll continue on working to make us the best that we can be!

_______________________________________________________

Max was excited. After hearing his grandfather’s stories about building houses and doing small woodworking projects he has always wanted to be involved in something big.

We had stopped over to my brother’s house to find him rebuilding an old porch.

“Hey, Maxie, come on over and help me with this.”

Really? Max was overjoyed. He didn’t waste any time running over and grabbing onto the wood my brother was cutting.

This was something both had talked about for a long time. My son has wanted to spend some time with his uncle. Brad has always believed that he can turn Max around and get him off of the drugs. He once told me that he would like to take him away to Maine for a week; he would come back a changed boy.

I was all for the trip but I also knew what Brad didn’t. He would have his hands full with something he just doesn’t understand. He imagines that his nephew is a normal boy that just has lousy parents.

He has seen a little of Max’s temper but when this happens at a family gathering rather than just separate him from Brad’s kids my brother always believed we should have just taken him home. It didn’t matter that his children had instigated any of the problems.

This always reminded me of a friend of mine that has a daughter with Asperger’s. She is 18 years old now but when she was going through middle and high schools the kids would tease her or bully her for fun. But they would do it in a quiet way; that is, nothing was overt that the teachers would notice.

She would react badly, trying to defend herself. And guess what? She was the one sent to the principal’s office. She was the one suspended. And it was her parents fighting to right the injustices of the school system.

Don’t get me wrong, I know my wife and I aren’t perfect but we struggle every day to find new ways of help our son. You know what? We would rather he wasn’t on these drugs too, or at least cut way down.

But today I was going to see how Brad would react to Max. My boy started off very hyper because he was so excited about working with his uncle. He was holding the wood as it was cut but he wasn’t very steady. My brother had to speak to him several times.

Every time I would open my mouth to suggest Max listen to him Brad would tell me it was okay. He did his best to guide him through each thing that he wanted him to do.

After we had been there some time Max saw a spider. Now like a lot of kids, he doesn’t like them and is a little afraid of them too. He tried to kill it. Brad spoke to him. Max didn’t listen and kept trying to get it. My brother also kept trying to stop him but he was very hyper focused on what he was doing. He couldn’t hear anyone talking to him he just concentrated on bashing the spider.

When he met his goal he was ready to continue working. My brother took him aside and in a very quiet voice said to him, “Max, when a spider is in the house it is okay to get rid of him because he’s in the house. But if he is outside that is his world and he has a right to be there. You must leave him alone.”

I’m not sure Max understood this especially since I had to remind him a few days later when he was chasing a spider around our back yard.

It seemed like the longer we stayed the more he started to act out; the more he stopped listening. I think he was totally overwhelmed with accomplishing such a huge goal: being with my brother. But I could tell Brad was a little overwhelmed too. But I don’t think he was considering Max’s disorders in all of this. I think he was seeing my son’s actions as the failings of his parents.

Perhaps that is so but if he can suggest some better ways to improve these issues I want to hear them. I don’t want prove or disprove them. I want to help Max as much as I can.

During all of this Brad’s youngest daughter had been in the house playing on the computer. She came out to ask her Dad a question and “discovered” that her cousin was there. She wanted to play with him and now there was a conflict. Max wanted to stay outside and be around his uncle while they played. She just wanted to be inside.

I got to see some interaction between a “normal” child and one with disorders. Neither one wanted to compromise. I suggested ten minutes inside and the same outside. Max went in for 2 minutes and then insisted on going back out. She wasn’t having any of that. They were both frustrated.

But of course, as we were leaving she came outside and both started having a great time together. She actually begged me to stay but it was too late in the day and we had to get home.

I want to see more interactions between Max and his uncle and cousin. I want to see him spend more time with “normal” children. I have found that because he is with other kids with disorders so much his issues are always in his face. It bothers him because he wants to be “normal”.

The summer has started. Max will spend more time with Brad and his kids and this will be a good thing. The more he learns to play with other kids; the more he learns to listen to and interact with adults, the sooner he will be able to accomplish two other goals:

• Feeling “normal” and

• Going back to a normal school.

And this will be a great thing!

Max breezed through his homework this morning. This is pretty typical. I’ve mentioned before how early morning is the best time for him to get it done.

How does your child do his homework?

Experts say some of the best ways for children to do their homework is to:

• Find a quiet place where they won’t be distracted. As we all know, children can get sidetracked very easily.

• Turn off the television. Similar to the previous statement, they will end up watching instead of doing.

• Make sure they have everything they need including paper, pencils, and books. Maybe even a cold drink if they tend to wander into the kitchen over and over again because they are thirsty.

• Be available for help if your child needs it.

Here are some other suggestions to motivate your child to do her homework.

How does Max do his homework?

My son has a set plan. He gets up in the morning, eats, showers, and gets dressed. After that he sits on the couch in the living room and does his work. The television is off and there is no music so it is very quiet.

In the meantime I am in the kitchen washing leftover dishes from the night before and setting up for breakfast and the rest of the morning.

At the same time my wife is in the basement doing laundry. She also feeds and cleans up after the cats. Then she makes sure Max’s backpack is ready for school.

We have been lucky so far. Max loves school and can’t wait to get there every morning. He also loves to learn so we don’t have to bribe or threaten him to get his homework done.

But he likes to do it quickly. From the time he sits down until he is finished it might take him 20 minutes.

If he has any questions he calls my wife in. She walks him through the problem he is having and allows him to come up with the correct answer. I think she would make a great teacher but her disabilities have kept her from pursuing this as a career.

When he is done he brings all of his homework to his Mother for review. If she finds any mistakes she will again help him figure out how to correct them.

But sometimes, like this morning, in his haste his work will be unreadable. In instances like this he will have to copy over his homework so that his teachers will be able to read it.

And don’t get me wrong, it is not always easy. Sometimes if Max finds that he has made a mistake on something he thought was perfect the meltdown starts. Usually we can circumvent it but when we can’t a timeout will result.

Generally it is completed without a fuss. It gets stored in his backpack. He is now ready and waiting to be picked up.

So, how do your kids do their homework? Do they have a structure set up? Do you use any other methods to make sure it gets done?

I have written several posts on how “it takes a village to raise a child”. Too many parents assume they have all the answers when it comes to bringing up their own. Others admit that they aren’t confident that they really know what to do. Still others just try to “wing it”; live day by day and hope their choices are the right ones. And all are stunned if their children grow up badly stunted morally and ethically.

I am a firm believer that people shouldn’t do it alone. Talk to other parents, search for information online, and read constantly. I have even suggested parenting books to help in the process.

Larry Winget, in his book “Your Kids Are Your Own Fault: A Guide For Raising Responsible, Productive Adults”, states that every parent should have a plan. Know exactly how you are going to raise your kids. If you follow a step by step process and keep the end in mind you will raise a responsible adult.

This made me think and I started by asking myself some hard questions:

What kind of man do I want Max to become?

He must be:

• Honest

• Forthright

• A good provider

• A good family man

• Even tempered

• A hard worker

• Respected

He must understand and practice:

• truth

• honor

• loyalty

• commitment

He should also enjoy life and enjoy his family.

What will Max need to know to be that man?

Because he has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, and Asperger’s Syndrome he needs to understand that he may have to be on some type of medication as an adult. He will also need to know the tools to circumvent the symptoms of each of these.

Like other children he will have to learn the tools to:

• control his temper

• control his language

• interact productively with other people

• be respectful

Have I taught him anything yet that will get Max there?

This is a hard question for me. I know he has learned a lot but in his frustration he forgets.

But he does know how to protect his Mom from threats. He knows how to treat her with respect because I have seen him do it.

He understands respecting the truth but at 9 years old he has been testing the “lying” waters.

He works hard when he is in “production mode”.

What else will I need to teach Max?

I need to step up my modeling behaviors. Max needs to see how I:

• treat my wife well

• treat him well

• work harder and better

• take control of discipline, family life, and spirituality

• control frustration

• do my best

• enjoy life

I have to teach him morals and ethics.

I need to find and teach the tools that will help him succeed.

I have to teach him to implement what he has already learned from me. Right now he knows a lot. For example, he knows how to respect his mother. But until he learns and integrates the tools that control his anger and impulsivity he will continue to ignore what he knows.

Right now I have been relying on his teachers, mentor, play therapist, and advocate to teach him what he should know. This is okay. I believe “it takes a village…” but I need to be more proactive so that I know their plan and can make suggestions for improvement. I need to take more of the responsibility of raising him too.

For me this is a first draft. As I go along and as Max gets older I expect that I will be modifying both this lists and the way I train him.

Because, let’s face it, I want Max to succeed just like other parents want their children to be successful.

It is 7 in the morning; Max is just finishing up his homework. My wife checks it over to make sure there aren’t any problems before storing it away in his back pack. The van should be here in a few minutes and for all of that time he will be staring out the window incessantly asking,

“Where is the van?”

When does your child do her homework?

Most parents and “experts” seemed to be divided on when the best time children should do their homework. Some believe it should be done right after school. Others schedule it for after dinner. My own parents always insisted that once we finished eating we went to our rooms. When it was done we could watch television.

What I find interesting in the articles I’ve read is that a lot of them have surveys asking when children do their homework. And generally they have three options:

1. after school

2. after dinner

3. whenever the child wants to

There are other options. For example, as I mentioned above my son does it in the morning. He gets up early enough to shower, get dressed, and have breakfast. He then sits down to do his homework.

He generally has it completed by the time the van arrives. But if he doesn’t he will finish it off while riding to school. He has plenty of time; it is an hour ride. The other kids don’t bother him. There is a monitor on board to make sure nothing inappropriate happens.

Max has learned that if his homework isn’t done he will have to do it at the beginning of class. He then has to catch up. The school gives a certain number of points at the end of the day for behavior and class room work. He prides himself on getting all of his points. But he doesn’t get them all if he has to take the time in class to complete his homework.

Why does Max do it in the morning?

We learned long ago that early morning is the best time for him. At night he is unable to focus on anything long enough. He generally doesn’t watch television. If something is on that he likes he will sit through it until the first commercial but then he gets distracted and leaves the room. We don’t see him again until he wants to go to bed.

Recently he needed to complete two 75 word essays for Cub Scouts. Since he does his homework in the morning we tried to sit him down last night to get them done. We were actually able to get him to focus for about 50 words of one essay before he was curled up in a chair, eyes closed, slowly falling asleep.

As a result we weren’t able to finish them until this morning right after he completed his homework. And he did a great job.

For me the bottom line is if your child does their best work after school make sure that’s when they do it. If after dinner is better, do it then. Find out when the best time is for your child.

For Max, the best time is early morning. This is when he produces his best work. It is also the time that he can work his fastest and then move right onto the van. Since we monitor it closely, if his output deteriorates we will find another time that works better for him.

What homework time works for you or your children?

After Max’s plane ride the only thing left to do was to bring Gramps home. He likes to spend his afternoons watching television.

We weren’t at his house five minutes when we discovered that their neighbor’s grandson was going to be visiting that afternoon. Max was excited. He was all set to sit down and wait but since no one seemed to know when Chad would be arriving I convinced him to go home so that we could get some chores done in the mean time.

My Mother-in-Law promised to call us as soon as the boy arrived so we headed off.

After arriving home I started the chores. Max chose to rebuild his wooden army rifle. It needed a new strap and some of the parts were bents. He got it into his head that he was going to be a soldier that day. Once his rifle was repaired he dressed in his fatigues, helmet, and boots.

Shortly after that the call came through; Chad had arrived. We hopped into the car and returned to my in-laws’ place.

We arrived to find a barbeque in full swing. Chad, his parents, his grandmother and most of her neighbors were all sitting on the grass enjoying the warm weather. Max joined right in while I went to be with my in-laws. It was a very warm day and they were trying to keep cool in their apartment.

Because it was so warm Max soon found that his uniform was too hot. Luckily he had brought shorts and tee shirt to change into. This started a change of clothes marathon. Every 10 to 15 minutes he would come back to his grandparents to make another one. Since he had only two sets of clothes he would mix and match.

So far this sounds like a normal late spring or summer afternoon but things changed very abruptly. One minute everyone was enjoying the weather and eating hot dogs and hamburgers.

Then the sun disappeared.

Okay, not a problem but then thunder and lightening exploded all over the place. People went running for safety.

And then the sound of a freight train roared around us. Wind came blowing through tearing down trees and parts of houses.

And the rain started. It came down so fast and hard we couldn’t see more than a couple of feet in front of our faces. But as we watched it turned horizontally as it drove passed the windows.

The sun came out while it continued to pour. We could see all of the trees down over the roadway. Fire engines, ambulances, and police cars were picking their way gingerly around the rubble, sirens blaring.

Then the rain stopped and everything went quiet. The storm had lasted only 5 minutes but it took another 20 before people started drifting back out doors. And it had gone from a warm relaxing afternoon to a clean up day.

I called my wife to see how things went for her. We live only 10 minutes from there. She informed me that they had everything except the rain. The ground was completely dry. As we talked I could hear the fire engines passing by her. But she was okay.

Later a neighbor informed us that we were under a tornado watch until late that night. That explained the freight train noises we heard. But it was very surprising for us. We live in New England; tornados are extremely rare here.

Funny thing is, the rest of the afternoon and evening was beautiful. But it is going to take several days to clean up the mess.

Oddly enough, as I thought of it, that whole day reminds me of Max’s mood swings. He can go from being sunny, to storm wild, and then to serene also in the space of 5 minutes. He can have an upside down day without any notice too.

Saturday was Max on a grand scale.

Saturday started out as a normal day. Max and I went off to breakfast with my father-in-law. It was bright and sunny but with some hazy skies. We didn’t notice this at first. It was only after we finished eating that it was brought to our attention.

You see, we eat at a small diner at the local airport. That day we discovered that a small flying company was giving free airplane rides. And of course Max and I couldn’t pass this up. After we signed up we were informed as soon as the haze burnt off we would be going on our trip.

We both love to fly so we weren’t too upset about that. Nope, I’m wrong, Max doesn’t have much patience. Constantly for the next hour I kept hearing:

“When are we going up?”

“You tell me Max.”

“When the sky turns blue?”

“Yes, that’s when we’ll go.”

But then he threw a “monkey wrench” into the plan:

“Daddy, can I fly alone this time? I mean just me and the pilot?”

“Um, I guess so.”

Does this mean my boy is growing up? We have always done these things together. It reminded me about a story a friend told me just recently. He said that when he was young he and his Dad would take a walk after dinner together. They didn’t always say anything; it was just a time to be together.

When he was 14 he was standing on the corner with his friends when Dad came up and asked if he wanted to take a walk. He said no; he just wanted to hang. But as his Dad walked away my friend saw his face fall and he realized then that this was a very important time for Dad.

And it’s the same for me. I don’t want to lose the time I get to spend with Max. This is the part I hate about him growing up.

Anyway, we still had to wait so my father-in-law decided that since he wasn’t going to fly he would be in the car. One of the pilots suggested he give us a tour of his plane, a small 4 seater, to pass the time. He showed Max the controls and went going the preflight checklist with him. I think if my boy could have concentrated enough he might have learned something but his mind was racing all over the place with excitement.

After the tour we still had to wait. And of course any function like this would not be complete without selling hats and tee shirts. Max discovered several things he wanted to buy. I got to practice my “No” muscle.

“No.”

“No”

“No”

And on and on. He got so upset at one point he walked back to the car; deciding he really didn’t want to fly if he couldn’t buy anything. But of course when I started it he immediately got out and went back to wait for his ride.

Finally after an hour the haze had burned off enough so that the planes could take off. A pilot was assigned to Max and off they went. As they went through the gate Max looked at me and spoke to the pilot.

The pilot turned to me and said, “You are the father?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Max says he wants you to fly with us but I only have a two seater. But you can take a tour of the plane.”

Big disappointment for me as I wrote earlier but at least my boy could feel like he was getting older…Dad wasn’t hanging around as he did these adult things.

It was a nice plane even though the cockpit was tiny! It could barely fit two people; the seats looked like they were squeezed together. The pilot loaded Max in and strapped him down. Then they were off; I stood at the fence staring up at the sky. Like any dad I suppose, I worried about my boy being somewhere up there where I wouldn’t be able to protect him.

It seemed like hours before they returned; an excited boy telling me about flying over the Atlantic Ocean, through the clouds, and over buildings. And a smiling pilot commented that Max had actually flown the plane.

But with my boy’s buying addiction it was only moments before he started asking to buy again, the flight forgotten. And even more upset as my “No” muscle kicked in again.

This was the morning of our upside down day. My boy aviator finally had his feet on the ground. Everything was back to normal.

Or so we thought.

Our upside down day afternoon got even wilder.

I’ve talked a lot about my son Max and how he has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. But I’ve been starting to wonder lately if I have some of the symptoms too.

Bipolar was once known as “manic-depression“.  Someone with this condition tends to have mood swings that run from being very “high” or manic to very “low” or depressed.

At a recent session my therapist suggested I explore this and write a post about it.

I’m not sure it is that bad. I think about my Multiple Sclerosis. It is very mild. In fact it is the “funny you don’t look sick” variety. If I had primary or secondary progressive I would probably be in a wheel chair right now.

Perhaps it is the same with this possible manic depression of mine. When I was with my therapist I talked about writing these posts. As I told him, some days I can write 4 or 5 at a time. But then on other days I moan and complain.

“Oh why can’t I write today?”

“I have soooo much to do.”

“I’ll never get anything done!”

A little whine here, and another one there, and I finally get some work done.

I had him laughing at this point and he thought maybe I should be a comedy writer. Hmm, I had never thought of that.

But back to the situation at hand.

Just like with my posts, some days I can plow through everything I need to get done. After which I am looking for more work. If any stressful situations arise like perhaps Max is having some terrible tantrums. I can take care of them very easily and everyone is happy.

But then on other days just trying to put one foot in front of the other is a major chore. I just want to lie down and sleep rather than make any kind of effort at all.

On days like this I get grumpy and I’ll snap at anyone that gets near. Max better not have any problems because I become very strict and stern and expect him to jump when I snap my fingers.

On those days Max will say, “Daddy, why are you talking to me in your Boston accent? I don’t like it when you do that.”

People from Boston please don’t be insulted to read this. I grew up there so it should be understandable I might have one. But I don’t think he really knows what that kind of accent sounds like. It is just a name that he has attached to the way I speak to him at this time.

But another thought occurred to me as I was writing the paragraph on Multiple Sclerosis. Maybe the high energy I feel is normal energy for most people. That is, what people feel every day is what I feel in spurts. Once I accomplish all the work with this energy I get totally wasted, tired, and lethargic. And this is what I see as my “depressed” phase.

There are other theories that may address this as well. For example, there is the idea that people that have a disorder such as ADHD or Bipolar may actually be throwbacks to an earlier time. When we were a hunter gatherer society, the gatherers worked every day doing the same thing over and over again. They developed energy to help them through their work.

The hunters on the other hand only needed energy when they were killing their prey. During “off times” or while walking through the forest they didn’t need energy so they didn’t have much. Energy was only required in spurts. Maybe I am a hunter.

Blood types are yet another possibility. The theory says that Type Os have a lot of energy, can eat just about anything, and can exercise enough to become body builders. Type As on the other hand can only do mild exercise and theoretically should be vegetarians. I am a Type A.

There are many possibilities. Which is the real one? Could even be something else. What ever it is I can keep my therapist laughing as I whine about not getting any work done.