Posts in month: July, 2010

I just received some disturbing news today.

I work part time as a pca, that is, a Personal Care Attendant. These are people that help the disabled and elderly with chores they cannot do easily for themselves. I fill in as I am needed when someone’s regular pca is unable to make a scheduled time or if a client needs something during an “off” hour when no one is scheduled anyway.

I have one client that employs two pcas on a regular basis. They divide up the days between each other but both come in at 8 in the morning and leave at noon. They then come back at 6 at night and stay until 9.

She was recently thinking of firing one of them. The girl is an alcoholic and will disappear for days drinking heavily or she will check herself into rehab. At the same time wine has been disappearing from the house. My client feels terribly about wanting to do this because the pca really has a problem. But when it happens she has to scrounge around and fill in the times the girl is not available.

I will pick up some of the hours occasionally but I can’t be there for all of them.

This wasn’t the disturbing news however. It has to do with the other pca. You see, we work on the clock. This means that each week our clients fill out and sign time sheets for us. These are turned into the state which sends out payment checks to us.

It seems my client noticed that when the other pca was filling out her sheets she was putting down a start time of 7:30 in the morning. As I mentioned earlier she doesn’t begin work until 8; so she is getting paid for an extra half hour each day. After discovering this my client went over her time sheets for the passed year and found out this girl had started initially by filling out the correct time. Then part way through the year she began entering 7:45. This went on for awhile but apparently when she realized my client hadn’t noticed the change she decided to add the extra half hour.

But this isn’t all of it. My client will cash checks a lot of times and use the money to buy groceries and essentials. For some time she was noticing that the money was going very quickly; she assumed she was just buying more things than she remembered. But now she realizes that this pca has been stealing the money.

What can she do? Many people have told her to fire both of them but then what? She will have to interview for two open positions. But this has been rough on her. She started looking for people for the first pca. One girl came highly recommended by a friend of hers. She met her and loved her. The girl was smart, capable, and would be able to do the job without any problems.

The day before she hired her the friend called all upset. He had just discovered that the girl had been stealing his money and medicine. He had gone to the police about it and found out they already knew all about her; she does this on a regular basis. He was very apologetic when he told my client.

I know these people are thinking that the money is coming from the state so who’s going to miss it if they take a little more. The drugs are paid for by insurance so these won’t be missed either. And what little pocket money that disabled or elderly people have will be more than compensated by Social Security.

But this isn’t really the case:

• The state money is budgeted; each client has a certain amount to use for pcas. If one gets more than they are supposed to, another will get less.

• There are no extras on prescription medicines. If a doctor orders 10 pills the pharmacist will not include an extra one or two. And for a lot of medications the insurance company will only pay for the amount prescribed. That is, if a patient runs out before the end of a month and requires more the extra will not be paid for.

• Social Security sends out one check per month for a specific amount. They will not replace any money that is stolen.

• The bottom line is that it is the client that is being hurt.

So now she is very discouraged. She has decided she will keep the thief. The woman has her own addictions that she has been fighting. My client is going to sit down and have a talk with her. She plans on telling her that this passed year was a bonus period but from now on everyone is going to follow the rules. Only time worked will be signed for on the time sheets. She won’t be cashing checks anymore either so that there won’t be any cash available for the taking.

It was very disappointing for me to hear all of this. Most pcas are honest, wonderful, and caring people. I like to think I am too. We are there to help people who have trouble doing things on their own. Sadly, in every profession there are bad apples that can ruin it for everyone else.

Last Thursday my son and I went camping at Mount Washington in New Hampshire. Our initial goal was just to ride the Cog Railway up to it but since it is a 5 hour drive round trip we decided to break it up. That is, we would drive up on Thursday. Spend the night at a camp ground and then do the train on Friday. After that we would go home.

Mount Washington is the tallest mountain in the Northeastern part of the United States. It is over 6200 feet high and is known for its dangerous and very changeable weather. But today we got some surprising news: at the top it was 63 degrees and very little wind. This meant we would be able to leave the winter coats in the car.

I had heard for years how exciting the train ride was up the mountain. One friend told me that it was worth any price…but take a lot of pictures.

When Max and I arrived we were presented with something out of the past. This small train was built in the mid 1860s and sits outside a large old train station. There are actually 10 of them which consist of a passenger car that holds about 60 people and a small engine that pushes it up the slope.

To give you an idea what it looks like I found this clip on YouTube:

When we first arrived Max and I had to check in. This meant converting the tickets we got online into real ones. Then we had to wait. The train hadn’t arrived back down the mountain from its first trip so we wandered around taking pictures. This one is of the first train used on the line:

This picture came from the Cog Railway website. Max’s photos have not been developed yet.

It wasn’t long before we heard an “ALL ABOARD” bellowed from the train conductor. The passengers lined up ready to hand in their tickets. I had made sure that Max and I were first because I knew he’d love the seats just inside the door. These would give a perfect view of the tracks in front of us as we chugged up the side of the mountain.

As we settled in the conductor informed us we were sitting in one of the new biodiesel trains. They still have one that is powered by coal and that runs once a day at 9 am. I must say this was our only disappointment because we had been looking forward to that one. I also noticed that the whistles are different. The newer ones sound like a regular train whistle.

I won’t go into any detail about the ride up. The nice thing was that the conductor also acted as our tour guide pointing out notable objects along the way. It took an hour and we not only passed many hikers climbing along the tracks but also a lot of incredible sights. Max enthusiastically took pictures on the way to the top. At the peak I couldn’t resist photographing him standing next to the summit marker.

But of course once there the first thing he found was the requisite gift shop. This is where his buying addiction kicked in. He was more interested in getting the moose back scratcher, the Mount Washington Park Ranger badge, and the “this bike climbed Mount Washington” bumper sticker than seeing the sights.

This was totally different from when we hiked up Mount Monadnock last fall. Then he couldn’t get enough of climbing the rocks and pointing out the sights to his struggling old man.

We spent an hour on top of the mountain before it was time to board the train again and head below. On the way down the conductor became the brakeman. It was now his job to spin the massive wheels at the front of the passenger car to make sure we didn’t descent too quickly. Like on the way up it took an hour to get back to the train’s base station.

This is another clip from YouTube showing the return trip:

As I mentioned earlier it is never a complete trip unless Max is begging to buy stuff. But I’ll tell you one thing, on the way down that scratcher did a great job on my back and on his. But like everything else he buys my son forgot about his new prizes immediately after returning to our home in Massachusetts.

The big plus about our trip is that except for the buying Max’s disorders did not present themselves very much. This was a good thing. I had been worried that this could be a make or break event. That is, if he wasn’t able to remain calm and enjoy the time we had we just might not be able to do it again.

But it was successful and we are now planning our next trips for the summer.

I can’t wait!

Recently I was talking to my 9 year old, Max. It is summer now and I mentioned that we hadn’t started planning what we will be doing. I asked him what he would like. He said,

“I want to go camping.”

“Great idea. Where do you want to camp?”

“At Mount Washington.”

“I like that. And what do you want to do when we are there?”

“Take the cog railway to the top of the mountain.”

“You know, I think that is a great plan. Why don’t we do it.”

“When?”

“We will leave on Thursday.” Today was Sunday.

Max was excited; he couldn’t wait.

I didn’t tell him I had already planned the trip to Mount Washington in Northern New Hampshire on Thursday. We would camp out overnight and take the train up the mountain on Friday morning. I had already bought the train tickets and scheduled the campsite. Except for packing we were all set to go.

Isn’t it nice we think alike?

Because Max is still in school and has afternoon programs it was my job to pack and get ready. I cleaned and packed the tent and sleeping bags, food, water, and clothes. But then of course there were other things that Max wanted to take. By the time the car was loaded it looked like we were going for a week instead of one night.

And then there were his meds. I was a little worried about how I was going to keep track of all of them. My wife came up with a great idea. She bought a box of those small yellow envelopes. She then loaded them up with the correct dosages. After that she labeled them with their days and times. Perfect.

I suppose it would have been easy if Max’s meds were all the same each time of day but they are set up so that he gets different ones at different times. Not only that some of them have to be cut in half. The envelopes worked great!

Since we were leaving on Thursday he ended up missing two days of school. Generally this would be a problem because he loves going but this was a special case. He was genuinely excited about going north.

The drive took 3 hours so we were both ready to relax when we got there. As we went to check in at the camp I noticed Max was getting worried. I asked him what the problem was and he pointed to several signs posted around the door. We were in bear country. These were warnings to watch out for them.

I spoke to the camp owner and he assured me that he hadn’t seen a bear come through in two years. That was great but a short time later Max was talking to his kids. They informed him that they saw one every day during the school year. They would pass it on the bus as they passed through the next town over. Apparently the residents were feeding it. It seemed like they were trying to make it a pet. But if they weren’t careful they would be in for a rude awakening. Bears don’t make good pets.

We spent the afternoon swimming in the pool and Max made friends. One little girl he met was disappointed. It seems that her older sister had been the one to encounter the camp bear two years before. She wanted to see one too but it hadn’t happened yet. Her family only had two days left at their campsite.

Dinner was fun; not really. I had set up the grill to cook hot dogs and beans but it took over an hour just to get the coals hot enough. I always use a chimney to get things going since I don’t use lighter fluid. It generally takes 20 minutes before the food goes on. That night it took over an hour to get a half way decent fire.

While I was waiting to cook Max kept bringing new friends over to see what was happening so they got to see the non-cook at work.

After dinner and some ice cream that we got at the camp store Max was ready for bed. He was asleep by 8:00. Not having anything else to do I turned in and was asleep by 8:30. I ended up waking at midnight and just lay there thinking about bears. I kept imagining them snuffling around the tent.

In the meantime my son was restless. He kept sitting up, looking around, and then lying down. Several times he would call me; convinced I was gone. I would calmly tell him I was still there sleeping beside him.

In the morning we struggled awake and ate breakfast. After that we headed out to the Mt Washington Cog Railway to ride up the mountain. This was sort of a compromise. We really wanted to ride the train even though we had the options of driving up or climbing. I had been told it was too scary by car and climbing could take a very long time.

The drive from the campsite to the mountain is gorgeous. We were in the middle of the Presidential Range which is in the northern most part of the White Mountains. Every where you look there is a mountain or a steep hill covered in greenery.

The one draw back is that there is not alot of cell phone service. We learned that if you are driving and you find a connection pull over quickly. It can be lost just as quickly as it was found. When we discovered one we called Mom to tell her what was going on.

We had to let her know that plans had changed. Originally after the train ride we were going to head home but we decided to stay one more night. She liked this idea since it meant more time for her to relax. And luckily she had packed extra meds just in case.

After that we continued on the road to the train. When I planned the trip I made sure that our stops weren’t too complicated. The camp was 10 miles from the highway on a smaller road and the train was another 10 miles off the same road. So everything was easy.

After the train it was more swimming and playing at the camp. I tried to cook again that night but I couldn’t get the coals working at all so Max and I decided to go out for dinner. We found a nice family restaurant, ate, and then returned to camp for another ice cream. I was able to keep my son up a little later that night but we were both asleep by 9.

It was another restless night for both of us. It didn’t help that a family with two large dogs arrived in the evening to start their vacation. The dogs barked and the people partied until 4 in the morning. Now mind you it wasn’t just a bunch of kids. It was Mom and Dad, Grandma, and two teenagers. All were up having a good time.

During the night they wandered up and down the camp roads talking and shining their flashlights into the tents. It seems that one of them had had too much to drink and kept crashing into things; apologizing as they went. I didn’t mind too much because I figured that the noise was keeping away the bears.

Then the rain started; it was about 3 am. I could hear it pelting against the tent as it fell. Max slept through it until about 5. He really needed to go to the bathroom so we climbed out of the tent. Since we didn’t bring any rain gear with us we threw towels over our heads and headed out.

The rain had been coming down so hard we found that everything was flooded. Max and I slogged to the restrooms in 4 inch of deep water. When we got done we headed back to our tent where we found that the site had also flooded and everything including the tent was soaked.

We packed everything up and stowed it all in the car. And then we sat huddled in it until the office opened at 8. During that time we noticed that in the next site over the dogs were missing; the tents were gone; and the two pickup trucks had disappeared.

I assumed that they couldn’t handle the rain and had left long before us. After we got home someone suggested that maybe they had been thrown out for all of the noise. There was a rule after all that quiet time was from 9 at night to 7 in the morning. They certainly weren’t quiet.

It was a wonderful trip though the rain put a damper on our last day. Our revised plan had been to spend the morning swimming before checking out at noon. After that we were going to stop at a place called “The Basin” to do some hiking. We were expecting to get home by 4 in the afternoon.

However, with all of the torrential down pours we headed straight for home and arrived at 11 o’clock.

My regular readers may have noticed that this post was a little different than most. Generally I talk about Max’s disorders or some other illness that is being addressed. Except for the mention of medications at the beginning there was nothing to talk about.

My son thrived on being out in the wilderness. I can almost imagine him living outside permanently when he is older. There were no upsets; he just had fun.

Except for the fact that Dad was a little grumpy, everything was perfect.

It is the 4th of July weekend. 4 days of fun in the sun, barbeques, fireworks, beaches, and relaxation.

But in our family that never happens. My son Max gets extremely agitated if his time is not structured. He needs to know what is happening every minute of the day. He doesn’t like relaxation time. He wants to keep moving.

During the week he knows that from the moment he gets up in the morning at 6:00 he will be:

• having breakfast, getting dressed, doing homework

• riding to school on the van at 7:20

• at school for 6 hours from 8:30 to 2:30

• coming home on the van at 2:30

• then seeing one of his counselors or mentor for an hour or two hours playing with Dad or friends until bedtime fitting in dinner somewhere along the way

Weekends are tougher to schedule. A lot of his friends are not around. He has trouble playing by himself. If my wife and I can’t come up with things to do he becomes short tempered and agitated. Nothing is right and we all end up miserable.

And forget about long holiday weekends. Unless every moment of every day is accounted for we will be subject to explosion after explosion. Max would not be able to function properly without knowing ahead of time what he will be doing.

My wife and I planned as much as we could. Friday night we all went to a concert down on the town common. While there Max discovered free pony rides and a jump house. That kept him occupied for quite some time. And of course he had the requisite hotdogs and ice cream topped off with some Sprite.

Saturday was more of the same. The town festival lasted for 3 days this year so Max was able to ride the ponies some more. And there were two additions to the schedule: the road races and the fireworks. But as usual since this was Saturday, in the morning Max and I went to breakfast with my father-in-law.

This made for a very long day for Max. He tends to be an early riser; usually 5 or 6 in the morning. On Sunday however he didn’t wake up until 8:30. He probably would have slept even longer but our cat didn’t like it. He constantly howled at the door until Max awoke and let him into the room.

Sunday we saved for church, and a barbeque at my niece’s house. On Monday Max and I started doing some planning for a trip we are making toward the end of the week. We then spent the afternoon at the beach.

If you have read this far it sounds like it was just a nice weekend. It certainly isn’t too bad right now. I am writing this on the beach while I watch Max in the water swimming and meeting the kids. Right now he is floating on his boogie board and chatting up the girls. It is 4:40 and I suspect he will want to stay at least until 6:30.

That is fine with me. I can continue working while I watch him enjoying himself. I haven’t joined him in this pond yet. The last time I was here I picked up an infection so I am a little nervous about going in.

But it hasn’t all been good this weekend. The structure we put in place has helped tremendously. I think this has been the best long weekend we’ve spent so far. Max has had a lot of meltdowns and problems though. Playing with friends at the fireworks got him pretty agitated. And the barbeque on Sunday was extremely trying for him.

Even with all of that I think it has been the best long weekend we’ve spent together so far.

But I’d rather see him have fun. If we can get Max exercised and concentrating on good things it keeps the problems to a minimum. As a result my wife and I are able to relax and enjoy things too.

Saturday July 3rd was a very exhausting day for my son Max. But it didn’t end early. It is part of the 4th of July weekend. What would this holiday be without fireworks? No matter how tired he was there was no way he would miss it.

Our town has a nice display every year. But because of the recession and cut backs in the town budget we sometimes miss one. This year everything was donated which was an awesome help.

We always have a choice where we want to watch them. We can sit in our back yard and get a perfect view; we are that close. There is also the option of sitting on a neighbor’s front yard down the street. They have a nice view too but in addition it always turns into a small party with everyone stopping by.

But the spot Max likes best is the school field where the fireworks are shot off. It is only a 5 minute walk from our house so it is an easy choice. And since we don’t have to drive, there are no parking or traffic problems for us.

Generally we grab a blanket and find a spot where we can lie back and watch the sky. There are always lots of people around us so it becomes a real community thing. But if we forget the bug spray we’re in trouble!! Too many mosquitoes this time of year.

This night turned out to be a little different than the rest however. I had been talking to a friend in town earlier in the evening. He and his boys were planning to go as usual but they generally sit on the other side of the field from the display area. He was wondering if he would be able to park this year because there were more people out than there have been in previous ones.

I suggested he park at my house and we would walk over. He thought that was a splendid idea and showed up at 8:30 with two of his boys. Max was ecstatic to have some friends to watch the fireworks with. But they couldn’t be happy with just walking down. The 3 boys pulled bikes and scooters out of the garage and met us over there.

When the adults got there we spread out the blanket; sprayed everyone with bug spray; and settled down to wait. But of course Max couldn’t just sit, he never does. He was up and about running and dancing around all the people that were arriving.

But now we were experiencing 3 boys: Max and his 2 friends. They all have the same issues: adhd, asperger’s, etc. All found it difficult to stay still. They were running and wrestling and causing general mayhem. We had to speak to them at least a thousand times but nothing worked. That is until the fireworks started; then they settled down.

In the mean time my buddy was trying to find his older two boys. They were supposed to be meeting us there but they hadn’t shown up. Even though we were just across the field neither of them could find us. He spent a good half hour on the phone with them before he gave up and told them to meet him at the back door of the school. Both have asperger’s just like their younger brothers; my friend fosters kids like this. After he left we didn’t see him again until the fireworks were over.

The end result is that my wife and I ended up shepherding Max and the 2 younger boys during the display. Luckily we only had to speak to them a couple of times after their Dad left. They were totally in awe over the show and just stared at the sky once it started.

When it was over we guided them back to our house. The traffic picked up and the boys were riding in and around the cars. We had to stop them and make them walk the bikes to the garage to keep them safe. All the while Max was getting even more hyper and it continued until my friend showed up to take the boys home.

And oh by the way; he didn’t find the older two. He just told them on the phone to meet him at a pizza shop near the school after he picked up the younger ones.

It was a long day. Max, his mom, and I were exhausted. We all dropped into bed and for the first time, as I’ve mentioned in several recent posts, my son slept really late the next morning. I like bringing it up so much because my wife and I were able to relax; wake up when we were ready; and do our morning routines without any issues. Hey, I could do with more of these!

The fireworks were great. It was nice having the boys with us but I think next year we will go with just one hyperactive kid. Or maybe not, it isn’t so different either way.

On Saturday during the Fourth of July weekend we got an invitation to a barbeque being held by one of my nieces on Sunday. This was great. I’ve talked about the structure my son Max needs to function. Sunday was a big hole for us. Certainly we had church in the morning but nothing was planned for the afternoon.

When Max discovered we were going he was extremely excited. He could barely contain himself as we drove up north. He likes my niece and her sister a lot but they are quite a bit older and have kids. My niece has an 8 year old son that Max enjoys playing with. My boy is 9.

He insisted on bringing his bicycle and scooter which we crammed into the back seat. This meant he had to sit cross legged for the 40 minute drive. He sat in back with them while my wife and I stayed up front.

Upon arrival he wasted no time in pulling out the bike and running over to meet his cousin’s son. They both disappeared down the street while my wife and I went in to greet the adults.

As I said Max needs structure to keep him balanced. We’ve done a pretty good job this weekend with the town festival on Friday; his road race and fireworks on Saturday; and now the barbeque. I think we started to feel good about our achievement. He hadn’t had too many meltdowns and he has behaved pretty well. But we started gloating too soon.

It started with the boys going their separate ways. Max sat in a chair just staring at the crowd while his cousin went to playing with the other younger kids. To be fair to him he was very tired. After his heavy duty Saturday he had actually slept to 8:30 Sunday morning. This is unimaginable for a kid that likes to be up by 5 or 6. Not only that, he didn’t wake up on his own. When the cat started howling at his bedroom door he struggled out of bed.

Not long afterwards a man and his wife sat next to him. Very nice people though initially I stereotyped him. He was a biker covered in tattoos. His head was shaved and he wore earrings. Max was fascinated; I was a little nervous. My son wanted to trade things with him like sunglasses, shoes, and knives. But the man calmly talked to him like an equal and parried all of his requests.

Several times we tried to steer Max away because my son was now pestering him over and over about the same things. But the man calmly told us not to worry about it he was enjoying talking to my son.

But Max was starting to get edgy because he wasn’t getting what he wanted. Later he played basketball with several of the men there and was having a blast. When they decided to quit he was very put out and begged them to continue. When it didn’t happen he was back in his chair badgering the man again.

It was now 5:30. We had been there for 3 hours but we knew it was almost time to leave. We called Max over and informed him that we would be going at 6 o’clock. And that’s when the you know what hit the fan. He tried to convince us to stay until 9 because the kids were going to shoot off fireworks. We were in New Hampshire; they are legal there. He wanted to stay with them.

My wife and I looked at each other and shook our heads. He was getting worse and worse. He was crying and saying some very vitriolic things to us. He ended up running off to the car and locking himself in. After we said our goodbyes we followed him.

As we got close we could hear him wailing and punching the seat. But once I had stowed our chairs into the trunk of the car he had calmed down enough to put his bike in as well. He was still pouting and stayed quiet and sullen as we headed home.

On the way I stopped at Home Depot which set him off once again. He just wanted to be home now. He kicked and screamed until he realized that I was still going in no matter what. He quieted down and followed me. He couldn’t miss this. It is, of course, one of his favorite stores.

By the time we had gotten what we needed he was back to his usual perky self. It was a good night after this though every once in awhile he would mention the fireworks he had missed.

It’s at times like this when any parent can feel totally drained. Even if they have handled the situation correctly it can still leave them shaken. Just imagine how a parent would feel who has a child with adhd, bipolar, asperger’s, or another disorder. Their child’s outburst can be one hundred times more powerful.

So many times my wife and I fall asleep on the couch soon after Max goes to bed. The plus side to all of this is that these explosions are getting less and less as time goes on. Max has been working with us, his play therapist, advocate, and mentor to channel this aggression into other areas so that he calms down much quicker and is much happier as a result.

He has a big incentive to work with us because he doesn’t like the explosions. He always feels bad once they are over.

But even though we, his parents, were beginning to be elated over how well the weekend was going we still needed to be on our guard to make sure Max stayed on balance. Without constant watch we weren’t prepared when he lost control.

But you know Mom and Dad slept well that night.

The Fourth of July weekend was upon us. This was going to be the 29th year of the annual town road races. A week before Max had decided he was going to run the 5K race. That sounds exciting but when is he going to train?

You see, Max doesn’t run. He doesn’t like to. If he has to run he will do it in short spurts.

“Okay, I’m done,” and he will continue walking the rest of the way. He generally just relies on his bike or his scooter to get anywhere.

Last year he surprised us the night before when he said he was going to do the 2k race. We tried to talk him out of it because we didn’t think he would make it. We didn’t argue with him; we just told him our concerns. It didn’t matter, he ran anyway. And he did fantastic. It took him just over 10 minutes to finish the run. Talk about a proud Daddy!!

He thought he would do a 5k by the end of the summer but it didn’t happen.

This year we had a whole week to train. He decided I would be his coach. That’s great; the guy who doesn’t run. Okay, in 9th grade I planned on joining the high school track team. I started to train one day by running an eighth of a mile from a nearby elementary school to my house.

I made it but that was when I decided that this was not going to be my sport. I never ran again, or almost never. A couple of months ago I started trying to run along side Max when he was riding his bike just to keep up. That never lasted too long.

But okay, I am the coach. The race was on Saturday. On Monday we got up at 6 in the morning and walked over to a nearby quarter mile track. We ran around once; then walked half way around; then finished up running another half. We decided that was enough and headed home.

On the way back to the house we talked about the next practices. We would do two a day until Friday. We figured that Max would have to be able run 16 times around the track to be ready for the race.

But we didn’t count on Max’s spur of the moment plans he would have for the rest of the week. He was never available for another practice session. As it got closer to race time my wife and I hoped that he would change his mind and forget about running.

It didn’t work out that way however. On the morning of the race he was very excited and wanted to go immediately to the track. The only problem was that his race was at 6 that night and I wasn’t going to sit all day on the sidelines waiting. So, with a lot of grumbling, Max did his chores. We later went down to the town festival where he rode ponies, ate hot dogs and pizza, and wandered over to the race track to register for his 5K.

Then we had two hours to wait. In the interim Max and I hopped in the car and drove the course. During the trip I pulled a DUH moment. It seemed very long, I couldn’t figure out why. A 5K is just over 4 miles but this route seemed to be getting longer and longer. Every once in awhile during the drive I would say “Max, remember, you are still running here.”

And then comes the DUH! I realized I was driving the 10K route which happened to be on the same course as the 5K. He was now thinking he should do this one instead. Nope, I don’t think so. Okay, with some more grumbling he agreed. So we drove the 5K route which is along nice quite country road. By the end of it he was even more excited…if that is even possible.

We had an hour to kill so I had him stretching a lot. It was a sweltering hot day so to his consternation I made sure he drank a lot of water and Gatorade. He doesn’t like drinking. But by the time of the race he had had only about 10 ounces of fluid.

Then they called the runners to the starting line. My wife finally joined us so we went up to wait with Max for the start. We ran into a friend of ours and her family. They run the 5K every year. She was excited to see Max was running too. My wife and I were still pretty nervous but glad that he had found someone he knew to run with.

Our friend’s husband wanted to know why I wasn’t running. I just snorted.

There it was, the warning bell. The runners lined up and positioned themselves. There was the blast and they were off. Our son was at the beginning of the pack. Once they were gone my wife and I headed for the finish line to wait. We found a shady spot out of the sun and heat and relaxed on the ground.

I figured that since it took Max just over 10 minutes to do the 2K last year that for this one it would probably take at least 25 minutes. I told my wife to expect him in 30 minutes because I didn’t think he could keep up the same pace as the last race.

While we waited I checked out the finish line. The course trail came down the street and turned into a ball park. The runners would have to barrel down a hill and through the field before crossing the line at the back side of it. When the first runners arrived my wife moved to the finish while I went to the hill at the entrance to the field.

Then we waited. And waited. And waited.

The longer it took the more worried I got. I had originally planned to follow along the route in my car to make sure he didn’t collapse on the way. Except for the 2K last year he has never run more than 10 feet at a time and during this race it was so sweltering hot. But all the streets were blocked so I couldn’t do it.

I also found out just after the race started that at the 1K and at 4.5K marks the runners passed the fire station. The firemen had set up firehouses to mist them down as they passed. They also had two water stations positioned along the route and there were people watching to make sure that there weren’t any problems.

But still Max didn’t come. Not only that our friend didn’t show up either. It was now 30 minutes into the run. Thoughts went through my head that maybe she slowed her pace down to keep steady with him. Or maybe she stopped because he collapsed.

Just as I had decided to walk the route from finish to start to find out who comes running down the hill and the home stretch?

Max.

I yelled!

“Go Max, Go!!! Go!! Go!! Go!!”

He turned his head as if in a daze. He heard me but I don’t think he saw me. Then he crossed the finish line.

33 minutes and 13 seconds!! Amazing run, especially for a non-runner!

My wife and I rushed over to congratulate him. He held up a finger on each hand to tell us to hold on as he bent over.

He threw up.

I got a comment from a friend later telling me how fantastic it was…all except the puke part. I responded that that was the best part. It means he is now a runner!

And what happened to our friend? She showed up two minutes later. This was an even bigger surprise for us; she does this race every year. My boy had beaten her.

Max still hasn’t come down from the excitement. He wore his running shirt with the number still on it to church on Sunday. He wore it to school today.

And Dad and Mom have been so proud! We have been telling everyone we meet about Max’s run. Our neighbor has already asked him to run a 5K in the fall with him.

That’s my boy!

There has been a lot of interest in an article about red dye that I wrote. I have even talked to parents who have read it. They have noticed marked changes in their children after they have ingested any. This article has given them some relief.

I have also had people tell me that the controversy surrounding the dyes that are added to our foods is ridiculous. Come on, they say, the FDA can’t be wrong; they approved them. The doctors that claim that there is no proof that red dyes cause problems can’t be wrong. As a result they believe that concerned parents are misguided; probably by quacks who want to make money off of them.

There have been studies that show no adverse affects of red dye. They track selected groups of children to find out how they react when given foods containing it.

The problem with these studies is that they assume that all children’s bodies are alike as far as how they handle different foods and chemicals. A former surgeon general of the United States has commented that just because 100 children react one way to a substance does not mean every other child in the world will react the same way.

Parents have noticed things happen in their children. When they mention it to doctors or scientists they are told they are mistaken. These things include:

• Dairy

Many babies have ear infections. When the parents of some of them have stopped giving them cow’s milk the infections go away. But their doctors tell them that dairy has nothing to do with it.

• Sugar

Some parents have reported that their children’s ADHD symptoms lessen when they aren’t eating sugar. Others have noticed marked differences in their kids when they have it. Nope, your doctor will tell you that the difference in behavior has nothing to do with it.

• Red and blue dyes

Sorry, behavioral differences are due to poor parenting not these additives. Thousands of children eat it every day and aren’t affected by them. Hmmm, not sure I buy that.

• Soy

Some children are affected by soy in much the same way as sugar.

I have been talking about children here but I suspect adults have some of the same reactions too. Or maybe different ones. I haven’t seen any studies in this regard.

Certainly I know that there can be adult reactions. I, for example, always suffered from massive headaches. No doctor could ever tell me why. They always gave me suggestions like maybe my room is dry or I’m not drinking enough water.

It wasn’t until I met a doctor in California who told me that almost all of his multiple sclerosis patients get the same headaches. When he takes them off of dairy the pain goes away. Since I have MS too, it seemed like a strong possibility. I stopped drinking milk and eating cheese and ice cream. Guess what? No more headaches. I still get them occasionally but I can always trace it back to something I ate that had some dairy in it.

But back to red dye; why am I a believer?

I have a 9 year old son. Max has been diagnosed with several disorders including ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, and Asperger’s Syndrome or PDD-NOS depending on which doctor we talk to. Over the years we have noticed that he will have explosive tantrums when he hears the word “No”. But generally, like with other kids, a good time out and consequences will calm him down.

But there are times that he becomes uncontrollable. At these times he has been suspended from school; held down by 4 or 5 teachers at a time; or been restrained at home.

For a very long time we didn’t know why this was happening. Things really changed for us during a barbeque at the house. A friend of mine came over and brought his boys. He also brought some juice, a popular punch.

After awhile we noticed that Max’s behavior was changing. Everything was setting him off. It got so bad everyone had to leave. But this made him even worse. He climbed up on top of the garage and refused to come down; all the time screaming obscenities at us. It wasn’t long before a call from the neighbors sent the police over. This led to Max being hospitalized for 2 weeks.

After he came home we were assigned 2 counselors from the hospital. They were supposedly here to help us but I believe they were just watching for more outbursts and uncontrollable behavior.

They used to come over several times a week and we noticed that when they initially arrived for our sessions Max would be on his best behavior but then it would deteriorate. He would become physically and verbally abusive. There didn’t seem to be anything that would trigger it.

But then we noticed that every time it happened it was after he had had a glass of punch. Yes, we still had that bottle from the barbeque. We removed it from his diet and the abuse subsided. For the rest of the counselor visits he was an angel.

But there were other times that he would react as badly. I still needed to restrain him on a regular basis. Why was this happening? Was there a common factor between foods he was eating and that punch?

After a lot of searching and comparisons we discovered that the one common denominator was red dye. Once we removed these foods from his diet the rages almost disappeared and there has only been two instances of restraint in the passed year.

Like with my headache problems if he explodes this badly we generally are able to trace it back to red dye. But lately we’ve noticed that blue dye has a similar affect. This means no more blue drinks at the movies.

Max didn’t accept this for a long time. A lot of his favorite foods were gone now. But once he realized how badly these dyes affect him he has taken to reading labels too. He has learned that he is terribly ashamed after one of these incidents and he doesn’t want to go through them again.

But even with our experience with this and the tests we have conducted there are still people out there that just shake their heads and consider his reactions just a result of poor parenting. It isn’t until they experience it themselves do they start to believe that just maybe dyes can be a problem.

My Mother was like this for a long time. She would not believe we knew what we were talking about. She is a nurse and talks to doctors all the time. All have come to the conclusion that dyes have nothing to do with our problems. Every time we would visit her she would try to give him some punch. She stopped after she actually saw his reaction to it. I’m not sure she believes it yet but there is no punch in her house anymore.

And this I think will be the same reaction for the nonbelievers. They’ll only stop using dyes after witnessing first hand what can happen. But will they believe that these additives should not be in our foods?

I doubt it.

Once a week I go to my Mother’s to take care of different chores. For example, every other week I mow her lawn. Other times I will paint doors or chairs. I pretty much take care of the things that my Dad would if he was still here.

And every week her next door neighbor comes out to talk. I always have to finish up the conversation quickly because if I let him chatter on I never get any work done. I am always very polite but I keep my answers short and sweet. I will eventually tell him that I don’t have time to continue if he doesn’t take any hints.

Now I don’t do this because he likes to prattle on and on. I have many friends that talk constantly and I can sit and listen to them for hours.

And it’s not just because my time is short. I just don’t like the guy! When I see him the gorge rises up inside of me and I want to throw up.

Interestingly enough it didn’t start out this way. You see, he was born and raised in his house. He is about 63 years old now and has never left it. He still lives with his mom. He has been married and has kids. At one time they all lived in this house. But he is divorced now and still hasn’t left.

Coincidentally his best friend lives behind my Mother. This man was also born and raised in that house. He inherited it when his parents died.

I grew up at my Mother’s and I moved out almost 40 years ago but I still visit her weekly.

When I was 4 years old I idolized them. They were big boys; at least 8 years older than me. I used to follow them around whenever they were playing in the neighborhood. Being older they did not like a “baby” tagging along when they were doing their “manly” stuff. They would torture me until I would run home crying.

Mom would keep me away from them as much as she could but I would always find a way back.

During this time I had a best friend. It was a little girl that lived behind us and to the left of one of the boys. We used to have a blast. We would spend a lot of time in her sandbox shoveling sand and making piles. I would wander over in the morning and spend the day with her. I would only take a break to run home for lunch.

Everything changed for me the day that I went over only to find the sandbox missing; the cars gone; and the windows dark. I rang the doorbell but no one answered. I finally, sadly, went back home.

“Mom, where is Sandy?”

“She and her family moved.”

“What??”

That was the last time I ever saw her. I supposed her dad got a new job and they had to go some place else. I accepted it but I’ve never forgotten her.

As I grew up I found more friends to play with. The two boys got older and, I assume, started hanging out with their friends at bars. I haven’t really seen the one in back for years and years. And as I mentioned I still see the one next door. They both would be at least 63 now.

Over the years I have noticed a slight dislike for both of them but I always assumed this was because of the way they used to treat me. But then that changed a couple of years ago.

Mom and I had been talking about the neighborhood. At the time we were sitting on her back porch. I happened to glance at the corner house where my little friend used to live. I mentioned her to Mom and commented that I always wondered what had happened to her.

She looked at me in surprise, “you don’t know?”

Know what? It turns out they hadn’t moved because Dad had found a job somewhere else. My friend had been molested on a regular basis. Quite often this sort of thing happens between older and younger family members but in this case it was different.

It seems her parents had discovered the molestations and reported it to the police. And they knew exactly who had done it: the boy next door and the boy in back. And each time it happened they would make another report. But every time the police just shook their heads; there was nothing they could do.

This was way back in 1959. In those days there were no laws against this sort of thing. Not only that not too many people believed that there was any such thing as child molestation. The police just told Sandy’s parents that their daughter probably enticed these boys.

Come on, she was 4 years old! What did she know about seducing boys. These kids were 12 years old; they should never have touched her! I like to think that if it happened today it would be different.

Because they couldn’t get any help for their daughter this family just moved away never to be seen again. I don’t even know if my parents had ever been in touch with them at all over the years. I doubt it; Mom didn’t mention it when we were talking about it.

I was 53 years old when I found out. My 4 year old self went into a rage over what happened. Not only had I lost my best friend but she had been hurt by 2 very sick individuals.

I don’t obsess over it. After all it happened 51 years ago. I don’t know where she is but I know neither boy has fared well in life. The one in back never married and always lived with his parents until they died. Now he has the house. I occasionally see him puttering around in the yard in bib overalls, a pony tail, and a belly that hangs down to his knees.

The one next door still speaks to me but he hasn’t changed since he was a kid. He has always lived with his mother. He is divorced and rarely sees his kids. He has never held onto a job very long and he spends a lot of time smoking and wandering around in his yard.

But I think about that little girl whenever I am working at Mom’s and he comes out of the house. I clench my teeth and pray that he doesn’t come over to talk.

To be fair this might have just been two 12 year olds experimenting. It was not okay!! But maybe they grew out of it and have just tried to lead normal lives.

But I like to think that little girl had somehow made sure these two men weren’t successful.

And every time I see them I will continue to clench my teeth and just be polite.

I saw a story on Good Morning America recently. Two years ago a report came out that claimed that people should be regularly using statin drugs like Lipitor or Crestor. This includes anyone that might have a cholesterol level that is only slightly above normal.

This was exciting news at the time. It was believed that less people would suffer or die from heart attacks and strokes. But based on a review of the report and other studies that have been done we have “discovered” that taking these statin drugs does not reduce the number of deaths from heart disease.

This made me take notice. My Father-in-law has been on Lipitor for his cholesterol levels and I have been worried about it. The drug has lowered it somewhat but there are issues:

• To keep it down he is going to have to stay on it for the rest of his life.

• He has been losing his short term memory which is one of the side effects of this drug.

In the report if you can get passed the part about whether drug companies should be paying for their own drug trials and the discussions in the comment section there are things that can be learned here.

For example, several of the people that commented mentioned that they have very high cholesterol levels. One man is living with 600; another is at 800. Both stated that their parents all had very high levels and lived to be in their 80s and 90s. None of them have ever taken these statin drugs. And all have lived a healthy life.

Why are they surviving so well if cholesterol is bad for us?

First of all it is not just the cholesterol that is causing us issues. The problem results when it is combined with “inflammation”. This is when the body’s immune system attacks the cholesterol. When this happens it actually increases the speed at which the cholesterol accumulates. This builds up the body’s defense mechanisms even more. And then cholesterol builds up even faster which in turn keeps this circular attack-defense continuing at an ever increasing rate.

But people with normal levels of cholesterol die just as often from heart disease as those with higher levels.

Why do others survive?

We’ve all heard it before:

“Eat healthy foods.”

“Exercise regularly.”

“Don’t smoke.”

If we can do these things then we will be able to keep our levels in check.

The take away from this is that statins at the very least do nothing to improve our health and at most can kill us. We should be careful and do our research before trying any of these. Talk to your doctor about these findings. In some cases whether through genetics or another reason someone may still have to use them.

Now if I could only convince my Father-in-law to stop chewing tobacco.