It’s a part of every parent’s bad dreams. You are out somewhere with your child when you get separated. You hear a scream. You rush to their defense. The cause can be anything from falling to kidnapping. Your heart beats faster and the adrenaline flows. You stop thinking and you jump into action.
This happened to me yesterday. My son Max and I had gone shopping for a birthday present for his Mom. I warned him that he should get her something that she can actually use; not a toy that will just sit on a shelf. Last year he bought her a Barbie doll. I don’t even know where that went; I don’t think I’ve seen it since she unwrapped it.
Don’t get me wrong, he puts a lot of thought into his presents and they are wonderful. He just hasn’t gotten the concept that an adult may want something that they can use rather than a child’s toy.
And as I thought would happen he directed me to a toy store. Inside he found something he thought she’d like; it was a ring. I convinced him to look at other things instead of choosing the first gift he finds. Okay, so we wandered the store for 20 minutes and each item he found was more outlandish that the last. We finally decided that the ring would be the best choice. We bought it and headed out of the store.
When we were back in the car he asked if we could go over to the mall; they have a wind machine he wanted to show me. Apparently it is like a wind tunnel; you stand inside and get blasted. That was okay with me so we headed over. We pulled into the lot and parked. Max got out of the passenger side of the car; I got out of the driver’s side and locked the doors. I turned to look for him but he never came around. I heard a scream.
“Daddy, help I’m stuck!” he wailed. I ran around to his side of the car. His thumb was caught between the door and the frame. Of course he couldn’t open the door; it was locked. He screamed again! I dropped the keys that were in my hand and started pulling everything out of my pocket. I threw them on the ground. You cannot use a key on that side of the car, only the remote. I found it and got the door open. Tears were streaming down Max’s face; this had to be bad, he never cries.
His thumb was black behind the nail. Through the tears he said “I’m okay, I’m okay”. This is code for “I really hurt but I’m not going to tell you and look like a baby”, he is, of course, 8 years old…soon to be 9.
“Please Daddy, can we just go home?” Of course we can. I packed him into the car and headed out. He kept whimpering and wailing. As a parent you know that I am very shaken about what has happened. Later that night when I told the story to a friend he asked if this sort of thing happens often. That is, does Max get distracted a lot resulting in hurts like this. No, even though he tends to be a daredevil this is the first time it has ever happened.
I couldn’t wait to get him home and he kept asking for his Mommy. I don’t like using the phone when I am driving but I knew she was doing errands. I didn’t want to get home and find she was still out. I called over and over but she had the phone shut off for awhile. I finally got hold of her and suggested she be home when we get there and I told her why.
“Daddy, am I going to lose my thumb?” I told him that that wouldn’t happen; he wanted to know how I knew. Well, it is because it happened to me too.
“How old were you?” I was his age. This seemed to bother him more, “It hurts so bad!” I told him we’d give him “Children’s Advil” when we get. “Is that all?” And maybe an ice pack too.
When we arrived home he got his medicine and within 15 minutes he was ready to go out and play. He didn’t have the best night; he was up several times. This morning he showed me his thumb; the nail was black and yellow but he seemed to be okay. My wife is worried that it might get infected. I know we not only have to look for that but we also have to watch for the nail falling off.
He initially swore he would never get into a car again but he later compromised by saying that he just would never close the door ever. That is okay with me; I don’t ever want to hear that cry again.
This morning the school nurse called; she doesn’t think Max’s thumb looks too bad but she wants us to call his doctor. She has two reasons:
- Some pediatricians want their kids on antibiotics as a preventative measure for infection.
- Others like to drill a small hole into the nail to relieve the pressure.
Max’s doctor doesn’t believe in prescribing antibiotics for this. He does suggest, however, that if the swelling looks bad to bring him in to be checked out. The doctor won’t drill the hole if he believes it is warranted; we will have to bring Max to a hospital emergency room to do this.
When Max got home from school we checked his thumb. Though it looked bad it turns out it is only bruised. He is not interested in seeing the doctor he has too many projects to do this afternoon. He even suggested as he got off the bus that the two of us check out that wind machine. It still bothers him and if it gets any worse we will take him to the doctor but for now we’ll be giving him some loving care.
Yes, even this is part of being a good parent. Not just the good stuff. Not just the discipline stuff. But also the hurt stuff. I guess I’m going to have to get used to it.
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