Do you ever find, like me, that there are things that you want to get done but other things just show up to push them off?  I find this happens a lot when I am writing my posts.  Today is one such example.  I have several posts in mind but this idea showed up this morning.
Among all of the odd jobs I do such as PCA work, website development, leg work for a charity, writing; I also have several clients that I do handyman work for.  Working like this allows me to be home on a regular basis for two very important reasons.  Reason 1 is my son Max.  I have talked about him a lot in my posts.  He is 8 years old and has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, adhd, odd, and aspergers/pdd.  With all of these issues he can be very difficult to manage.
Reason 2 is my wife who is disabled.  Because of this she cannot care for Max all by herself.
In previous posts and those I write in the future I address all of this but today I got to paint.  One of my clients bought a fixer upper with her husband a year ago.  He is gone now but the work still needs to be done.  Her problem is that she has to pay the mortgage and the bills so she works 50-60 hours a week.  Then she has to come home to housework and food shopping.
This doesn’t leave much time to make the repairs.  This is where I come in; I spend one day a week working for several hours while Max is in school.  Today, I’ve started the painting in the kitchen;  I had time to prime and paint several of the cabinet doors.  Eventually when all of this is done I will be tiling the floor.
Today also happened to be her day off.  When I was finished my work she we started to talk.  Even though her husband is gone she doesn’t live alone.  Her daughter and 3 grandkids live there as well.  And for a short period of time the daughter’s 28 year old boyfriend was there to.  My client threw him out when he started swearing at her and being very rude and disrespectful.  It makes me wonder if this is how he treats his own mother.
I focused in on this because I can see Max being like this when he gets older.  Right now even at 8 he knows the words.  He is very rude and disrespectful to his mother and swears at her constantly.  Something has to be done before he gets older.
When I mention this to people I get the standard suggestions:
One man told me that if he had ever done that growing up his dad would have taken him behind the woodshed and beaten him until he stopped doing it.
Others suggest that spanking is the way to “stop all this nonsense”.
Still others believe that 2 or 5 or 10 minute timeouts will take care of the problem.
Take away privileges or favorite toys for a specified amount of time.
First, I don’t believe in beatings; all this kind of violence teaches is more violence.  The child may not disrespect mom anymore but he learns that violence is okay.  I view spanking the same way.  This is an “in the moment” response which doesn’t have a long term effect.
Timeouts could work; Max gets timeouts for a lot of other things that he does.  He also gets them for the disrespect and swearing as well but it isn’t having any effect.  Taking away privileges and toys don’t work; he tends to move on.  In a few hours for privileges, days or weeks for toys, he may remember that he has lost something and ask for it back but in the mean time nothing changes.
His psychiatrist insists this is part of the bipolar disorder.  Bipolar kids can swear constantly, be abusive, and disrespect people.  According to him the medication should help this to a degree.  His counselor also insists that even if this is a result of his diagnosis that we shouldn’t be relying on the medication to resolve the issue.  We still have to find the tools that will teach Max respect.  My wife and I are constantly on the look out for the things that will work for him.
This all brings us back to the boyfriend.  He treats my client disrespectfully and swears at her.  I assume he probably does this to her daughter as well.  And I wouldn’t be surprise if this is how he treats his own mother.  He is 28 years old!  I don’t want to see Max end up like this.  My dad taught me to protect those that are weaker that I am.  Now I’m not saying women are weak; most can be pretty powerful.  But physically and mentally we hear of so many being subjected to abuse by their fathers, husband, boyfriends, and sons.
This is one of the symptoms of bipolar disorder that I want him to overcome not only for him but also his mother, his girlfriends, and their mothers too.  Do you have a child that has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder?  Do they swear and are they disrespectful?  What tools have you been implementing to address these issues?

Do you ever find, like me, that there are things that you want to get done but other things just show up to push them off?  I find this happens a lot when I am writing my posts.  Today is one such example.  I have several posts in mind but this idea showed up this morning.

Among all of the odd jobs I do such as PCA work, website development, leg work for a charity, writing; I also have several clients that I do handyman work for.  Working like this allows me to be home on a regular basis for two very important reasons.  Reason 1 is my son Max.  I have talked about him a lot in my posts.  He is 8 years old and has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, adhd, odd, and aspergers/pdd.  With all of these issues he can be very difficult to manage.

Reason 2 is my wife who is disabled.  Because of this she cannot care for Max all by herself.

In previous posts and those I write in the future I address all of this but today I got to paint.  One of my clients bought a fixer upper with her husband a year ago.  He is gone now but the work still needs to be done.  Her problem is that she has to pay the mortgage and the bills so she works 50-60 hours a week.  Then she has to come home to housework and food shopping.

This doesn’t leave much time to make the repairs.  This is where I come in; I spend one day a week working for several hours while Max is in school.  Today, I’ve started the painting in the kitchen;  I had time to prime and paint several of the cabinet doors.  Eventually when all of this is done I will be tiling the floor.

Today also happened to be her day off.  When I was finished my work she we started to talk.  Even though her husband is gone she doesn’t live alone.  Her daughter and 3 grandkids live there as well.  And for a short period of time the daughter’s 28 year old boyfriend was there to.  My client threw him out when he started swearing at her and being very rude and disrespectful.  It makes me wonder if this is how he treats his own mother.

I focused in on this because I can see Max being like this when he gets older.  Right now even at 8 he knows the words.  He is very rude and disrespectful to his mother and swears at her constantly.  Something has to be done before he gets older.

When I mention this to people I get the standard suggestions:
  • One man told me that if he had ever done that growing up his dad would have taken him behind the woodshed and beaten him until he stopped doing it.
  • Others suggest that spanking is the way to “stop all this nonsense”.
  • Still others believe that 2 or 5 or 10 minute timeouts will take care of the problem.
  • Take away privileges or favorite toys for a specified amount of time.

First, I don’t believe in beatings; all this kind of violence teaches is more violence.  The child may not disrespect mom anymore but he learns that violence is okay.  I view spanking the same way.  This is an “in the moment” response which doesn’t have a long term effect.

Timeouts could work; Max gets timeouts for a lot of other things that he does.  He also gets them for the disrespect and swearing as well but it isn’t having any effect.  Taking away privileges and toys don’t work; he tends to move on.  In a few hours for privileges, days or weeks for toys, he may remember that he has lost something and ask for it back but in the mean time nothing changes.

His psychiatrist insists this is part of the bipolar disorder.  Bipolar kids can swear constantly, be abusive, and disrespect people.  According to him the medication should help this to a degree.  His counselor also insists that even if this is a result of his diagnosis that we shouldn’t be relying on the medication to resolve the issue.  We still have to find the tools that will teach Max respect.  My wife and I are constantly on the look out for the things that will work for him.

This all brings us back to the boyfriend.  He treats my client disrespectfully and swears at her.  I assume he probably does this to her daughter as well.  And I wouldn’t be surprise if this is how he treats his own mother.  He is 28 years old!  I don’t want to see Max end up like this.  My dad taught me to protect those that are weaker that I am.  Now I’m not saying women are weak; most can be pretty powerful.  But physically and mentally we hear of so many being subjected to abuse by their fathers, husband, boyfriends, and sons.

This is one of the symptoms of bipolar disorder that I want him to overcome not only for him but also his mother, his girlfriends, and their mothers too.  Do you have a child that has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder?  Do they swear and are they disrespectful?  What tools have you been implementing to address these issues?

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