Posts for category ‘Cub Scouts’

The 2010 Cub Scouts finally has come to an end. There is one overnight scheduled for August but that is pretty much separate. The ending comes with the “Blue and Gold” Ceremony. This is when the scouts finally earn their rank and the older boys move on to Boy Scouts.

It had its ups and downs for us but that is generally the case when we have places to go. The last two that we’ve been to has started at 6 pm but everything is always late. Dinner was always served after the opening ceremony but wouldn’t start until about 7 pm. After that there are the awards and then some entertainment. We are generally out of there by 9:30 pm.

This is all fine as it goes but Max is now 9 years old. He has several disorders including ADHD, Bipolar, and Aspergers. As a result he can start off calm and receptive during the evening. But then he gets very tired and anxious and this causes a lot of meltdowns.

On top of that, since dinner is so late he is cranky because he hasn’t eaten. We always try to get him to have at least a snack beforehand. But he is always too excited and can’t even stomach the thought of food.

Tonight the meet was scheduled for 5 pm and the scouts were asked to start arriving at 4:30. The new pack leader likes to run things by the book and wants everything on time.

Since it was a warm summer evening Max and I decided to walk. Or rather, I walked and he scootered. It was a nice pleasant 20 minutes. We actually arrived at 4:20. My wife was coming by car and she planned on joining us right at 5 pm.

When we arrived my son joined some of his mates and they had some fun while waiting for the program to start. But as the time got closer to 5 and there was no Mom he started to get anxious. Several times he talked me into walking to the parking lot with him to see if she had gotten there yet.

At 4:55 pm he was very upset; she hadn’t arrived. His anxiety skyrocketed:

“She’s not coming. I know she isn’t.”

“Max, she still has a few minutes before she said she would be here.”

“No, she isn’t coming.”

“I bet she is in the car right now driving over.”

He wouldn’t believe me and sat on the curb moping.

Right on time we heard the familiar rattle of her car and she pulled into the lot. As she turned into a parking space Max flew to meet her. He was so excited that she had actually arrived. Now he was ready to settle in for the festivities.

Amazingly the program started on time. The boys brought the flags in and some announcements were made. But guess what, my son was starving. Well, Duh! He didn’t have anything to eat before we got there. So he was cranky and whined until it was time to get into the food line. We were eating only 20 minutes after everything started; so much better than the hour last year.

But after all of that he only had a couple of bites before he was done. He was then off to play with the other boys. Now the anxiety was gone. He didn’t need his parents trailing after him.

But as time and the program went on Max became more and more tired. All the pictures we have of him receiving his awards and helping on stage show him yawning and yawning…and yawning. The other boys were having lots of fun; he just wanted to curl up and sleep.

After everything was complete it was time for the entertainment. That night it was a traveling petting zoo. Mom decided to go home at this point. I went and stood at the back of the room. All the children sat on the floor circling the host. As he brought out each animal the kids oohed and aahed; even screamed sometimes when seeing a particularly scary animal or when one startled them.

Max kept his eyes glued on them and when given the chance would touch or pet them. But as time went on I noticed from the back of the room he had lied down on the floor and was staring straight ahead. I went over too him and suggested that we could leave then if he wanted. But he responded as he sat up that he wanted to pat the small alligator.

When everything was over Max and I headed out the door to go home. He hopped on his scooter and flew across the parking lot. I followed leisurely behind him. Not really, I was exhausted so I was dragging myself after him.

Just as we got to the end of the parking lot a lightening bolt streaked across the sky. This was enough for my son. He returned to the building and asked me to call Mommy to get a ride. This wasn’t a problem she was waiting by the phone just in case.

When we reached home he went right to bed and was asleep by the time his head hit the pillow.

I skipped over his awards while writing this. He actually made rank; he had been working on “Bear” all year. He has gone through Tiger, Bobcat, Wolf, and now he is on the next level. Next year he will be working on Webelos I and the following year will be Webelos II before going into Boy Scouts.

He also received his swimming pin, several belt loops, recognition ribbons, and beads. He loves working on all the projects but he doesn’t see them as necessarily part of Scouting. For example, he has been swimming since he was 6 months old and has taken a lot of lessons and passed many tests. During one of our swimming sessions I gave him the Cub Scout swim test and he completed it without any problems.

Because he would be doing these things anyway getting recognition for them always surprises him. When he was handed the swimming pin he was open mouthed. Why? He was just doing something he loves; he hadn’t been doing it for the award.

Max did really well tonight. But you know, as I watched the other kids it made me think he is not much different from the “normal” ones. Don’t get me wrong, some of them may be on meds too but I can’t imagine all of them are. But they all seemed to have some of the same issues my son does based on how they were acting. Should they all be on medication? Or is medication overrated?

Memorial Day is a special day for me. I have written about how every year my son Max and I go to the cemetery to honor my Dad who has been gone for over 20 years.

Max knows why we go but this year I think he has started to get a real understanding about what it is all about.

As usual we raked and cleaned the burial plot but today Max grabbed some towels which he wet down from a faucet he found nearby. He then knelt on the ground and scrubbed each of the two stones. He knew he wasn’t doing this just for Grandpa but for Grandma too. She had already been there before us to place her rose on the grave.

There was another difference this year. Every year the veterans organizations place small flags at each of the deceased vets’ graves. It has always been sporadic leading you to believe that not too many people in this cemetery served. But today there were hundreds of flags dotting the landscape. It was overwhelming. Especially since my Dad had two, one for each stone.

Max was fascinated and went from site to site reading the engravings. This man was a marine. This woman had been in the air force. And these others served in the army just like his grandfather. He wanted to know why my Dad had two flags; he had never been an officer. Was he special? The only answer I could give him was “Yes!”

As we left the cemetery I mentioned that one day I would have one to. Would he take care of it? Max became very solemn, ”Dad, I will come here a lot and spend the whole day just cleaning and being with you!”

“But what if you have moved far away like maybe to California?”

“I will still be here a lot! But you know, you are going to live to be 150 years old so that’s a long way away.”

I didn’t push it but it was very nice to hear.

The memorial weekend didn’t stop here though. On the day itself Max was scheduled to march in our town parade with the cub scouts. The first thing he did when he got up was to dress in his army uniform. He had everything on from hat to boots. This, of course, is the day to honor our fallen heroes.

When it got close to parade time he changed to his cub scout uniform. We then headed out to the starting place. He joined his pack and received quick marching training from the scout leader. He got a flag and a neck strap to hold it. And he was very solemn as if the memorial was weighing him down.

When it was time the scouts, along with the veterans, police, firemen, and High School band, marched 25 minutes to the cemetery. The boys were part of the honor guard so their flags were raised in honor of the Gold Star Mothers, the Pledge of Allegiance, and Taps. They also listened to the roll call of the soldiers that have recently died in Afghanistan and Iraq. And if they were like me they jumped during the 21 gun salute.

Max seemed to get what was going on but I wonder if he really did. I was reminded of the young soldiers we see on Saturdays. On those days he, my father-in-law and I go to breakfast at a diner at the local airport. These boys come in all dressed shiny and clean to wait for the transport plane that takes them off to basic training. They are nervous but excited about what is about to happen to them.

There are so many of these squeaky clean kids that go off to war to protect our country and come back within a year either in body bags or grizzled old men that have experienced too much in their young lives. Quite often they suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome and require a lot of therapy and medicine to survive.

Have you ever seen the old television series Mash? It was about a group of doctors during the Korean War whose jobs were to patch up the young boys that were injured in battle so that they could go back to continue the fight. And it is also about the affect it had on them.

In one episode a young pilot was shot down and brought into the hospital with minor injuries. He was sympathetic towards the wounded soldiers but he also bragged about his “9 to 5″ war. He was stationed in Japan with his wife and kids. In the morning he would get up; fly over to Korea; drop a few bombs; and then head back to his family and a good home cooked meal.

While he was recuperating he ran into some severely injured 5 and 6 year olds. He wanted to know who could attack young children so brutally. One doctor looked at him and answered “you did that when you dropped your bombs.” Until then this man was totally unaffected by the war. All he ever did was fly around in the sky. When he finished his job he never saw the aftermath. And he cried bitterly; these children were the same age as his own. It forever changed him.

Max can’t wait to join the service. He wants the opportunity to serve our country. But like the young men we see fly out of our airport he doesn’t get what war really is or why we have a memorial day to honor our dead. Maybe it takes a first, or even a second, hand experience to grasp the full meaning.

But maybe it is enough right now for him; he is only 9. Soon enough he may experience it and then he will understand why he should honor our dead.

My son Max and I spent the weekend at Battleship Cove with the Cub Scouts.  As its name implies it has a number of exhibits including a battleship, submarine, and destroyer on display in the water near the ocean.  And like a lot of museums nowadays you can schedule groups to sleep overnight to get the experience of living aboard them.

This is our third year doing it but Max still gets just as excited as the first time.  When he gets excited it can be expressed in many different ways.  For example:

• He can get excited when running.  Like other children that have Asperger’s this can be manifested by flapping his arms.  I used to try to teach him to hold them close to his body and pump them the way that regular kids do it.  Since I have learned about the syndrome I have backed off doing this.  However, I have noticed he will switch back and forth between flapping and pumping his arms depending on the mood he is in.

• He can get very excited when he is wrestling with his friends.  But as his anxiety levels increase it can turn to upset.  When this happens his face gets red and he looks like he is going to cry.  Then he becomes violent.  His excitement transforms into anger and he is ready to beat the other person down.  This is when we have to step in and separate them.

• At other times when he discovers things that really interest him he really, and I mean really wants to show people what he has found.  And he will harass them until they come to look.  Interestingly enough he doesn’t care how excited they get; they can even be annoyed, but at least they have witnessed what he has found.  At the Cove no one was safe.  Every time he turned around there was something else to cause excitement and there were 600 people to badger.

Through trial and error my wife and I have figured out some of the triggers for his excitement and the results to expect.  But there is always something new.  Right now he is building a ship in the backyard with his advocate.  This is his project du jour.  And as he works he keeps thinking of something new to add to it.

First was the saw.  He came running in talking very quickly.  His words fell over each other as he tried to ask if he could use it.  Why?  After much prompting I discovered that he found a long piece of wood that he wants to make into a gang plank for the ship.  Well, it is okay with me if his advocate is willing to supervise.  Upset.  He heard a “No” when I said that.  In the end she said yes and he got the saw.

After he cut the wood he wanted the drill.  What could he possibly want the drill for?  Screws.  Um, I can’t work with just one word.  What is he going to use the screws for?  To make a long story short I never really found out but we didn’t have any.  Upset.  But he finally settled for nails so I listened to hammering for quite some time.

Next he wanted our wooden flag pole.  I can’t get a straight answer why he wants it.  This time I said “No”.  Of course there was more upset.  Finally, when all was said and done he got the pole.  It turns out he wasn’t going to cut it, hammer it, or damage it in any way.  There is a hole in the center of the table on the back deck.  It holds the umbrella we use during the summer months.  This is where he put the pole after attaching the flag to it.

One thing about Max though.  Once he has completed a project or shown other people the things that excite him he forgets about them and moves on to something else.  But unfortunately, in the meantime, we can get upset or annoyed or frustrated especially if he is handling his excitement in a new way.

Asperger’s is a whole new world for us, as it is for a lot of other people.  Every time we think we understand what is going on with Max, something else appears and we learn yet a new lesson.  It can be exhausting but it is also nice when we figure out another way to help him through his excitements and upsets.

My son Max is a Cub Scout.  He has been one for 3 years now, moving up the ranks from Tiger to Bobcat to Wolf and now Bear.  I find this amazing.

Amazing because I never thought that he would get this far.  Yes, like other kids he dreams about going through Cub Scouts.  Then when he gets older going into Boy Scouts, Explorer Scouts, and eventually join the Army.

Initially we saw this as a great dream.  I had wanted to be a Cub Scout myself but it never happened.  I was a Boy Scout however, so I knew what he could get out of it.

Even better, I also knew that I would be going to the meetings with him and camping out with him and doing the activities with him.  Seemed like a win-win situation to me.

Ahhh, but reality can really throw some curve balls.  The year he joined was the year that his disorders began to get involved with everything he did.  I’ve posted about his problems at school and his hospital visits but I haven’t mentioned his scout meetings.  He would be wild, running, jumping, and climbing the pillars in the meeting hall.

Not only did the pack leader have to speak to me several times about his behavior we also missed quite a few meetings when he was in the hospital or was too uncontrollable to leave the house.

And then there were the campouts; he would be so excited he would still be talking at 2 a.m.  He would still be having meltdowns at 6 a.m.

Somehow through all of this he was able to collect activity and elective beads, and move from Tiger to Bobcat and on to Wolf.  For those who don’t know, Bobcat is an interim rank; Wolf is second year.  That year I worried and hovered a lot.  He was also very clingy and would sit in the back of the room with me rather than join in with the other scouts.  But at home he would tackle the electives with glee and ended up accomplishing more than his den mates.

This year he is a Bear.  It has been an exciting year for both of us.  From September to January I watched him slowly become more involved with the den and pack activities.  He is making friends and is not as clingy.  Today he will sit right up front with the rest of the boys and actually forgets that I am even there sometimes.

Even on museum overnights and campouts he will take off with his friends and I generally don’t have to worry about him.  I do though because I keep thinking he might relapse; get to wild; or even lose his temper and start hitting.

Max has been taking part in the activities this year.  He liked learning how to carve a bear out of soap.  He has been part of flag ceremonies and building models.

He has also been working on his electives and collecting arrowhead rewards.  The nice thing about these is that they are things that he does anyway so now he gets credit too.  He has built different electronic projects such as door bells and radios.

Right now he is working on his swimming belt loop and pin.  In a way this is an easy one.  He has been in the water since he was 6 months old, 8 and a half years.  We go swimming every Tuesday and Thursday too.  As a result he has basically whipped through all of the requirements and he is excited.

His only disappointment was that he wanted his snowboarding belt loop and pin this year too.  Unfortunately we had more rain than snow so he wasn’t able to complete everything he needed.  Well, there is always next year.

So I have been doing a lot of learning too.  I’ve discovered that just because Max has disorders such as asperger’s, bipolar, and adhd, none of these can or should keep him down.  He is able to learn just like every other kid.  He is able to have fun too.

And Dad doesn’t have to keep being an old mother hen hovering around him to protect him or keep him out of trouble.  He is learning how to do that himself.