Have you been reading about the Georgia kindergarten teacher that has been brought up on charges of child sex abuse?

Apparently this well-loved teacher has been having her way with the kids. She has since lost her job and her reputation while proclaiming her innocence. However, the only evidence that this happened is the testimony of the children themselves.

The problem that comes up for me here is that the 3 kids in question were 4 and 5 years old when this happened. Four years later they are being asked to tell their stories. After all of this time how much of this actually happened; how much has been added over the years; and how much has been instilled in them by well-meaning adults resulting in “false” memories.

If I was on the jury in this woman’s trial I would have questions that would need to be answered before I could come to a decision on her guilt or innocence. Two questions that come to mind are:

1. During the investigation what questions were the children asked?

These questions and how they are asked can make all the difference in the answers that young children give.  They want to give the “right” answers.  Often they will tell you what they think you want to hear.

Several years ago when my son Max was 4 years old he developed a very large blister on the top of his right foot. It was very painful causing him to cry uncontrollably. My wife and I knew how to take care of small ones but we had never seen one this large and it worried us. We took him to the emergency room at the local hospital.

After we had been reported for burning our son the result was a visit by a social worker. She sat with Max privately and asked him several questions:

“Have you ever been burned?”

“Yes.”

“How did it happen?”

“I was cooking on the stove.”

“Where were your parents at the time?”

“In the kitchen.”

“Were they helping you?”

“No.”

If she had completed her questioning here it didn’t look good for us. We were in the kitchen while he was playing with the stove and we didn’t do anything about it?

She asked one more question: “Can you show me what you were doing?”

Instead of going to the kitchen stove Max brought her down into the basement where he had a toy plastic one and began playing. She laughed.

Without that all important question we could have been cited for, at the very least, negligence.

In the teacher’s case:

• Were the right questions asked?

• Were enough questions asked?

• How were the questions asked?

If these questions are not asked correctly they can prompt false memories. These are the memories that have either been distorted or are of events that have never happened. Some “false memories are believed to be the result of the prodding, leading, and suggestions of therapists and counselors.”

The ex-wife of a friend of mine accused him of molesting their young daughter. When asked, the child denied that anything had ever happened with her father. Her mother refused to believe her and began taking her to see different psychiatrists. The first 14 found no evidence that dad had ever sexually abused the little girl. It took 5 years but mom finally found a psychiatrist who, after several months of prodding, was able to jog what he called was the child’s “suppressed” memories.

It took several court cases, expert witnesses, and eventually even the daughter herself to clear my friend of any wrongdoing.

2. Has it been determined who may have a grudge against the teacher?

In the last example the wife was determined to punish her husband for whatever crimes he may or may not have committed so she produced this story of child sexual abuse. Is there someone who dislikes this teacher enough to want to ruin her life?

A few years ago I read about a woman who was running a child care center out of her home. The state she lived in mandated that daycare must be available to children on welfare. In return the state paid the childcare fees for these kids. It sounded like a good deal however the state was always either late on payments or losing the monthly paperwork that these centers were required to submit.

To combat this the woman tried to form a union.

One day two children were dropped off at her house. They stayed almost two hours. Several days later charges were brought against her for sexually abusing both of them. The other childrens’ parents rushed to her defense. They had been with her for years and knew that she would never do anything like this. No matter, she was found guilty.

It later turned out that the state employee in charge of stopping the union had dropped her two grandchildren off at the woman’s house for safekeeping one day. They were there for only two hours. How was it they were the only kids ever abused?

After years of court cases the state agreed to drop all charges if she stopped doing childcare and left the state.

I am not suggesting that the children themselves have any motives. However, the adults around them do:

• Their parents are trying to protect them and are angry about what may have happened.

• Other adults may not like the teacher for some reason.

• The rest are well intentioned and are looking to right a wrong or a perceived wrong.

And there is a lot of child abuse. Approximately 5.8 million children are abused in the United States alone every year.  And it is projected that perhaps billions more worldwide suffer from it. Through my work with Suitcases 4 Kids I have personally met many kids who have been abused. People that do this should be brought to justice.

It is difficult not to jump to conclusions when it appears that children have not been protected. But we have to stop, ask the right questions, and do the research before determining guilt or innocence.