My son has two friends, a brother and sister. The boy is a year older than Max, who is 9. The girl is a year younger.

They are the greatest kids. Both really like to play with Max and truth be told I think the girl has a bit of a crush on him.

If they are around they will come over and play for hours. We never had to worry about them until the day that they were climbing a tree in back and the girl fell off. I heard the scream and ran out in my stocking feet to find her on the ground; tears streaming down her face.

I walked her home; I was still in my socks and she was still sobbing. I left the boys playing in the yard. I talked to her Mom who checked her out and found nothing wrong.

This was about a year ago and both still come over when they are available.

It is good for Max since he has a lot of anxieties. He finds it very difficult to go up to any friend’s door and ring the bell to find out if they are home. He always insists that either my wife or I walk him over and either stand close while he knocks; or knock ourselves.

For sometime I have been trying to get him to handle it himself without having a parent hovering. When I go with him I hang back at the end of the driveway or a house or two away and insist he handle it himself. When we go to the two sisters that live close to us I have told him that girls don’t like to see a boy’s parents around when he comes knocking at the door.

“But they aren’t my girlfriends!”

“Doesn’t matter.”

That hasn’t worked too well.

I’ve since discovered that he is not worried about ringing the doorbell. His problem is that he is afraid he is going to hear the word “No”.

“No, Billie is not at home.”

“No, Janie can’t come out right now. Maybe after dinner.”

“No, Jack is too tired.”

When this happens he will say good bye. But he holds himself together until he is out of sight and then he will run home crying.

Rejection is a tough thing for him.

Since I discovered this I am not so insistent that he be by himself. However, I have to find out how to help him through his rejection problem.

But back to the brother and sister; he has always had this same issue going to see them. At least with his other friends he will stay and play after sending us home. That is, he doesn’t need us there to watch him play. It is different at this house. If they can’t come home with us but want him to stay he insists that we stay with him.

I have told him I won’t hang around just to watch three kids play. If I don’t, he goes home leaving them watching him sadly from their driveway.

I never understood why until my wife discovered the reason. It is their parents. They seem very nice. I enjoy talking to them. Max’s problems arise after we are gone. Apparently when they are home during the day they always have a beer bottle in their hands. I don’t know if they drink enough to be called alcoholics though I haven’t seen any of it.

If that wasn’t enough if the girl does something inappropriate Mom calls her a “F*&^%*&^ B%^&$”. And she has no problem calling the boy an “A$$^#^&*”.

I don’t believe that they have said or done anything to Max but he feels very uncomfortable being there. My wife doesn’t think he is afraid that they will do the same to him; just that he is worried about the whole environment. His own parents don’t drink and they never swear at him. I don’t think he understands other parents doing that to their kids.

Every day there seems to be something new that opens my eyes to my son’s issues. It’s not always the children with disorders that have problems. Sometimes the ‘normal” kids have it rough too.