I’ve been talking about my son Max’s med changes lately.  I mentioned one of the side-effects of taking him off of his stimulants.  I touched upon his behavior a little bit too.  But I’ll tell you, we still have a way to go before he is off his ADHD meds but I wonder sometimes if we will live through it.

Parents with ADHD kids know what I’m talking about.

It seems like every day Max has been getting wilder and wilder.  He has been running around the house a lot; swinging his arms around kind of like airplane propellers, and yelling exuberantly.  Today he added something new…he has been smacking his Mom on the butt when he passes her.  As you can imagine she hasn’t been terrible thrilled by this.

I don’t want to discount the good things that have come out of this:

• Max hasn’t been as anxious as he was.

• Tantrums have been lasting minutes rather than hours.

• Swearing has been reduced.

• He still gets upset if Mom goes anywhere without him but within 5 minutes he goes on with other projects.  Before, he would be on the phone calling and begging her to come home.  She would end up turning off her cell.

• When he is angry he goes into his toy room, closes the door, and sits for awhile.  He used to scream and break things.

• He can be outside on his own for more than 3 seconds.

But this wildness can be unnerving.  Last night, for example, we went swimming in the YMCA pool.  He was like an octopus, climbing all over me constantly.  I kept peeling him off but he would come back and attach himself again.  Don’t get me wrong; I love being in the pool with him.  We generally play tag.  I toss him in the air so he can splash down into the water.  Sometimes I need to bend my leg like a chair seat so he can sit and fix his goggles when they get water in them.

This is different.  Imagine hands grabbing everywhere and legs wrapping themselves around yours.  Every time you take one off, it immediately finds another place to latch on to.  It feels like harassment and the more he does it the more built up I get.

When he is acting like this he cannot hear what is said to him.  Or he can, but the words are not part of his world at that moment.

“Max, stop it.”

“Okay, I’m sorry.”

“Max, stop it!”

“Oh yeah, sorry.”

“Max…”

And on it goes until I send him off into a corner.  Later I will sit with him and explain the problem.  He appears to get it but it isn’t long before he is at it again.  Someone asked me if I thought he might be afraid of swimming so he holds on.  Sorry but that doesn’t work.  He is 8 now and has been swimming since he was 6 months old.  He is more comfortable in the water than even I am and I’ve been swimming for close to 50 years.

I’m not really complaining.  I understand a little bit about what he is going through himself.  He doesn’t have control and he doesn’t know why.  He just knows he’s having fun and he’s confused about why other people, meaning his Dad, aren’t having fun too.

This is just another aspect of his med changes.  As he goes through it the more his Mom and I learn.  Just today I saw an interview with Curt Schilling, the former Red Sox pitcher, and his wife.  She just wrote a book about raising their son who has Asperger’s.  They showed a video of their boy playing soccer.  He was running and flapping his arms a lot like Max does.   They talked about the wonderful things they have learned as they deal with each day.  And as they said, some days are going to be harder than others.

And it is true.  Some days are so difficult as he struggles to deal with our responses to his actions.  But without my son I wouldn’t be doing half the things that I do like swim, mountain climb, run, bike ride.  The list is endless.  Oh, and the most important things like read with him, cuddle with him, and laugh with him.

As I sit here there is a rare moment of quiet.  Max is staring out of the window waiting for his ride to his afternoon program.  I’ve got to enjoy it while it lasts.  Nope, there it is:

“Where’s the ride???!!!”

He jumps up and down.

“Where is he??”