My wife and I watched the movie Fireproof the other night.  I expected it to be a movie about firefighters and their stories.  I have liked firehouses and fire engines ever since my Grandfather took me for a ride on the hook and ladder truck.  In those days it had a seat and steering wheel on the back and I got to steer whenever we went around corners.  I was 3 at the time.  Today my son and I spend alot of time exploring firehouses and it helps that my cousin is a fireman.

But back to the movie.  Yes, it did have a few stories about firemen battling blazes but it actually centered on the fire captain and his marital problems.  In fact his wife served him with divorce papers towards the beginning and the rest of the movie showed the captain going through his personal fire to save his marriage.

His dad gave him a book called “The Love Dare“.  It contains 40 days of projects designed to improve a marriage, even ones that are at the breaking point.  The captain had to commit to following the program if he hoped to succeed.

While watching the movie I saw a lot of the captain in me.  Like me he was frustrated with the way he saw his wife treating him.  Like me he was getting angry more and more and was actually thinking about ways out of the marriage.  Fed up with the situation his wife wanted out too.

My wife may feel that way too.

The movie scared me.

We all know the statistics.  In the United States 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce.  The number one problem is money.

But what most people don’t know is that the divorce rate among parents of special needs children is much higher.  In this case the problems center on the care and raising of these kids.

So here I was identifying with this captain who doesn’t have children and I have one with issues such as bipolar disorder, pdd/nos, and odd.  It has been a struggle raising him and my wife and I are always short tempered.

The day after I saw the movie I searched the internet and discovered that “The Love Dare“  actually exists.  My son and I went to Borders but I couldn’t find the book.  The girl at the information booth went to several different locations and was also unable to find it.  She informed me it is a very popular book and has been flying off the shelves.  She suggested I come back in a few days. Not what I wanted to hear, I wanted to start immediately!

As I was walking out of the store she caught up to me.  She had found a copy in the return section.  I bought it and after reading the introduction I knew it is going to be hard and is going to take a lot of commitment.

I would like to suggested to other parents of special needs kids who may be feeling the strain of raising them (or not) to consider getting this book or finding some other way to strengthen their marriage (even if it is a good one).

But I called this blog “Fireproofing the Family” not “Fireproofing Your Marriage”.  Think about it, kids get escalated when their parents are escalated and that is when all the junk will hit the fan.  These kids don’t need more issues than they have already.  Parental problems don’t help them learn how to deal with their own problems because the parents aren’t dealing with them.

Strengthening the marriage is the first step in helping these kids strengthen themselves!

As I work on the book I will write blogs about my discoveries.  Please don’t hesitate in commenting about my progress.