In a previous post I introduced my friend Rob.  He is a recovering alcoholic who a doctor discovered had bipolar disorder and had been self medicating with alcohol and drugs for years.  He started drinking at 12 years old and is now in his mid forties.

Though his new medications for his disorder had been helping him I ended that last post saying that he was back in the hospital again.  I said I didn’t know when he was coming out but when he did I hoped that he would finally be able to accomplish his goals.

He lasted in the hospital for maybe two weeks and then checked himself out.  I didn’t know you could do that when you are going through a detox program but apparently you can.

The big question is: Why did he leave early?  I thought initially it was because he was either fed up with being in all these detox centers over the years or he had done something that caused him to be kicked out.  But it turns out that neither is the case.  Apparently he has been in contact with a woman through email that he has never met.  She was originally involved with a friend of his who had moved out west.

She and the friend had broken up and Rob decided to correspond with her.  They have spoken on the phone and swapped pictures but as yet have never met.  It has been perhaps a month now and the two of them have decided to move in together.  He bought a plane ticket and will be flying out there this Wednesday.

Since he left detox he has been living with his parents in a cramped two room apartment.  When he went into the hospital he lost the place he was living in.  Last week he and I drove down to where he was living and picked up his belongings.  We then stuffed his clothes, an air conditioner, and a bike, among other things, into his parents’ place.

During the ride I planned on talking to him about his trip.  He is throwing everything away: his schooling, his sponsor, his friends, and his family for a woman he has never met.  Before I could bring up the subject though he got very angry about some very innocuous thing and I thought he was going to become violent.  I decided not to bring up the subject.

This passed Saturday I had breakfast with his dad who has been a recovering alcoholic for 37 years.  I asked him why his son hadn’t joined us.  It seems Rob was asleep on the couch when dad left.  He shook his head; Rob is drinking again.  He said that before Rob got his bike his dad had some control over what he was doing.  I’m not sure how much control he had; his son is 47 years old after all.  The drinking became more pronounced when the bike showed up.  Now he is able to get to package stores and pick up bottles whenever he wants to.  Rob doesn’t have a driver’s license.

His dad made a sad comment, “His plane leaves on Wednesday.  I can’t wait for him to be gone.  I hope he never comes back.”

Does he mean this?  I can’t speak for him but I don’t think so.  Dad has worked hard for so many years to help his son.  He even opened his apartment up to him when Rob left the hospital.  And Dad understands the disease since he has it himself.

Rob’s sister is another story.  She is very angry with him for drinking again and doesn’t want anything more to do with him.  She cannot understand why Rob is unable to stop.  Perhaps she thinks it was easy for her dad to stop so it should be just as easy for her brother.  I don’t know but I know she has written him off.

I wish him well with his new woman and whatever he does with his alcohol.  I know I’ll miss him and my 8 year old son Max will miss him too; they are buddies.