Recently my wife, son, and I went to see the new “Karate Kid” movie:

Even though I liked the old version for me there were two pluses to this one:

1. It stars Jackie Chan; I will go to see anything that he is in.
2. It also includes a rising young star named Jaden Smith. I don’t know much about him but I am a big fan of his parents Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith.

It took a long time to get there though Max kept saying, “Not today.” We were finally able to convince him to go. When we did he was mesmerized. He loved it and so did we.

Not only that, there were things I could take away from it. I don’t want to give away much of the story but part of it is about a karate master that trains a young boy. His methods are a good way to teach children respect. If you’ve seen the old version with Pat Morita and Ralph Macchio you may remember the “wax on, wax off” scene where the boy is required to wax a car with one hand and remove it with the other:

This continues until he learns a lesson from it.

It reminds me of the television show “Strict Parents“.  If a child needs a consequence she is generally required to complete a chore over and over again until she understands what she did wrong.

With all of the discipline he receives the boy in the movie goes from being unhappy and sullen to enjoying life.

It seems like there are things we can use with Max. He tends to get belligerent if he is told to do things even as minor as “pick up your clothes.” Generally he gets time outs and the loss of a favorite toy for awhile. Maybe if he has to do something over and over again he will finally understand.

But there is a problem; Max has become more aggressive since seeing it. If he is in a pool with other boys he has been convincing them to karate chop each other with him.

He has also been coming up behind his mother or me when we are sitting down. He will then wrap his arms around our necks to hug us. He then starts squeezing tighter and tighter, oblivious to us telling him to stop. He only ends it when we yell and then he feels like the victim. He runs into his room and slams the door.

A karate kid he’s not…yet. A lot of parents will send their kids off to martial arts school to teach them discipline. These children learn that it is not good to use it as a weapon. I have no doubt that Max can pick up this skill without a problem. But I’m not sure he would understand that he is not to use it on other people. I mentioned the playing around in the pool he does.

I am also speaking from experience. He is a very good wrestler and the coaches love having him on their teams. The problem is that we have not been able to make him aware that he cannot just perform a wrestling move on his elderly grandmother just because she happens to be in the room.

So perhaps a “wax on, wax off” style will work better. This is one way of teaching kids respect; maybe he can learn it too.

I was sitting in my office working when I heard a noise in the back yard. It was the elderly woman from the next street over wandering through. I assume that she was looking for a way out; the yard is completely fenced in. I put my shoes on and went out the front door intending to go back to see if I could help her.

In the street I met a woman just standing and watching my yard. I asked her if she was accompanying my neighbor. She said yes but her charge gets very upset because she doesn’t like to be followed.

She informed me that the woman has Alzheimer’s disease. I had already surmised that over three months ago. It was a sad thing to see.

My neighbor is a retired school teacher. My son Max and I have known her for years from our many walks in the neighborhood. She would always come out and speak to us. She loved seeing my son and when we were with her she would talk nonstop about her boys.

And then about three months ago we were passing by and she waved to us. But the way she was talking I knew that she was gone. Even though she was very friendly I could tell she had no idea who we were. She said, “Your son is a nice little boy.”

Alzheimer’s is a tough thing to deal with if you are a caregiver for someone who has it. I can’t even imagine what it is like for someone who is afflicted with it.

The disease is actually a brain disorder which is progressive and fatal; and there currently is no cure. It destroys a person’s brain cells little by little causing memory loss. It has become the seventh leading cause of death in the United States.

My friend’s caregiver asked me how I knew about the illness. I had two grandmothers that died of it. One grandmother stayed locked in her apartment afraid to step outside. She used to look out her window and was convinced that there were people on the roof of the building across her street trying to get her. At the end she had no idea who I was which I found devastating.

While tucked away in that apartment she suffered two mild strokes about two years apart. It was always believed that they contributed to her condition. I remember that she was always asking when her oldest son was going to take her away from there. She never knew that he had already died.

Then he finally took her away with him when she was 77 years old.

My other grandmother was a very active woman. She was always traveling and meeting people. Not long after a fall she took when she was 91 we noticed that there was a problem. She was forgetting small things and imagining others. But as the disease progressed it took a different turn from the first.

She began to distrust everyone. She believed that strangers were trying to separate her from her family and her money. I remember one occasion when she was sitting on my mother’s couch. She thought her daughter was a strange woman who had kidnapped her. She was screaming; shouting for Mom to let her go home.

When she noticed me across the room she yelled to me, “Please sir, I don’t know who this woman is. Will you take me out of here? At least call the police!”

And when she realized I wasn’t going to do any of these things she became even more upset because this man was part of the gang that had taken her.

She was 98 years old when she died, 20 years after my other grandmother.

My Dad also appeared to have the symptoms of Alzheimer’s; but it was more a result of the medicines he was taking. When he was dying of cancer doctors started giving him morphine to ease the pain. Almost immediately the signs appeared. His short term memory was gone. He had no idea who I was. And the wife he had met when he was 5 years old and had known for 55 years was now a complete stranger.

He finally died of cancer at 60. He didn’t have Alzheimer’s but I had lived through both of my grandmothers’ illnesses so it certainly felt like he did.

And as I talked to my neighbor’s caregiver the memories flooded back. I was able to express some of them to her as we waited for the woman to come out from the back yard. She told me that she could not go back to help her because the woman didn’t want it, “just see what happens when she comes out.”

My friend finally emerged by sneaking down the side of the house. When she realized we could see her she stepped out defiantly, “I do not like you following me. I’m going to call and get you fired for this!”

“Ok Marie,” the aide responded. As she wandered up the street straightening barrels left over from trash day the aide said goodbye and began to follow her to keep her from harm.

I know the pain of watching your loved ones waste away from this crippling disease. I have cried countless times as I helped them do even the smallest things.

But I cannot imagine what it was like for them to find themselves living with strangers. Being forced to allow them to care for them. Wondering where their spouses and children have disappeared to. Why aren’t their loved ones coming to save them?

It was heartbreaking watching my neighbor walk down that street, not knowing where she was going, or what she was going to do.

It is Sunday; no school today. We had a very active and sometimes unhappy boy today though. As a result his Mom and Dad were totally exhausted by noon; and we still had a half a day to get through.

I’ve written a lot about how Max needs structure for things to run smoothly. Weekdays are great because he is in school which has a set program. He gets home around 3:30 but then he has counselors and mentors in to play with him. On the off days he may find a friend available to play with.

Weekends are always a problem since it is difficult to structure Saturday and Sunday for Max. This last Sunday nothing was set up so we were worried how it would go for him.

But the way things went you would think we had actually structured the day. This was Max’s schedule:

• 6 a.m.

My wife and I were startled awake by a scream and a jarring bounce on our bed. My son was awake and raring to go. We, of course, were groggy and not ready to roll out of bed. With a lot of prompting my wife struggled up to start the day. Fifteen minutes later he was after me to come into his room which I finally was able to do.

• 6 to 7 a.m.

We were subjected to a lot of screaming and cursing. Nothing was going right for him. Needless to say, there were a lot of time outs and more grumbling.

• 7 to 8 a.m.

Dad and son went down to the football field to toss and kick the ball around. I was not quite ready for this but Mom needed a little bit more sleep so off we went. We had a great time; he did all the running; he and I did all the throwing, kicking, and catching.

Several times Max asked me to dive for the ball but there was no way his old man was going to do something like that, especially that early in the morning.

• 8 to 9 a.m.

My wife and I realized that this would be a great time to take Max to get his blood tests. We called the hospital and they told us that since it was so early no one would be in the blood lab. Right now it is only available to patients but they would be able to fit him in.

But even though it was a great time it didn’t go without a lot of problems.

• 9 to 10 a.m.

Once we got home we finally had breakfast. My wife and I have been drinking these great fruit shakes. It is my job to make then. We sat and drank them along with some turkey bacon.

Max had a toaster waffle and watched a little bit of television.

• 10 to 10:30 a.m.

Now my son started screaming and whining again. What are we going to do until 12 o’clock? He knew that he had a playdate at that time but he was too anxious to wait.

• 10:30 to 11:30 a.m.

We put up with Max’s issues for awhile but then realized we would need snacks to take with us at noon. Dad and Max went shopping; we picked up a bag of veggie chips and a bag of red hot corn chips. But of course if Max had had his way we would have bought a lot more than that.

• 11:30 a.m. to 12 p.m.

There was more whining. Dad did his best to distract his son as Mom finished getting ready for the playdate.

• 12 to 4 p.m.

We met up with Max’s friend at the local pond. The boy was there with his brother and grandmother. My son met this boy in Cub Scouts. I’ve noticed that separately he and Max are both hyperactive. But together it was wild. Just watching them was exhausting.

• 4 p.m. to 7 p.m.

When the boys got tired of swimming we came home. Since it was still early we brought Max’s friend with us. Both boys showed up at the house still hyper. The first thing they did was ride bikes and later disappeared down to the football field to play.

The other boyfriend has ADHD like Max, and is very hyperactive too. Unlike my son he gets silly; we haven’t seen him angry. He is on meds though just like Max.

At one point he felt sick and wanted to go home but there was no one there to take care of him so we kept him longer. Very soon he was better and out skateboarding.

After he left my wife commented that it is wonderful to have playdates but we don’t think they should last 7 hours….

• 7 p.m. to 8 p.m.

We can’t forget that Monday is a school day so we wanted Max to have a shower before going to bed. But we would have had to hold him up and wash him ourselves because he was pretty close to sleep walking by then. We put him to bed and made sure he showered in the morning when he got up.

So this was our “unstructured” day. Originally we had only planned a two hour playdate but as you can see everything just fell into place to keep Max occupied all day.

It would be nice if every weekend day could be like this.

On Sunday it dawned on us that Max need his drug levels tested. His psychiatrist had been asking for weeks for a report. She needed to know how much Depakote was in his system. Too much can cause liver problems. It had been difficult to schedule because we had to take him before he had gotten his morning meds.

Today appeared to be the best day to get him up to the hospital. When he first heard our plan Max dug his feet in. He was not going; he hates having the needle stuck into his arm. We were able to persuade him that the last few times things had gone really well and it would be quick. Ha, ha, famous last words.

Once we were there it looked promising. The parking lot was empty and there were no patients in Admitting. We sat down with the intake person and handed over the order from Max’s psychiatrist. In the process of filling things in the girl noticed that the doctor’s full name wasn’t available. We didn’t know the first name and the hospital wasn’t willing to accept incomplete information. They looked the name up in the hospital directory but couldn’t find it.

I left my wife and son to drive home to get it. Just as I pulled into the driveway I got a call that the hospital had found her correct name. By the time I got back the paperwork was done and everyone was ready to walk over to the blood labs. There we turned in my son’s records and then had to sit and wait.

This wasn’t going well. The longer Max waits the more he starts thinking. We knew that if the technician didn’t get us quickly he would decide he really didn’t want to do this. But he was good. When he was finally called he went into the lab without a problem.

All the way down he talked about how he had done this before and he wasn’t afraid. He hopped up into the chair and presented his arm.

But this is where the fun started. Sadly, I am being facetious here. As the girl took his left arm he asked if someone could hold his hand. The supervisor came over and grasped his right hand. At the same time she took his left hand and held it down. After this two mistakes were made.

If you have ever had blood drawn you know that when you stretch your hand out there are several steps they follow:

• They wrap an elastic tourniquet around your upper arm long enough to find a vein.

• Once found they clean the area around it.

• You now clench your fist.

• The needle is slid into the vein. You might feel a pinch.

• Once it is in place you are told to unclench your fist. This allows the blood to run freely.

• The technician attaches a tube to the needle and takes some blood. She will repeat this step until the required number of tubes are filled.

• When done, the needle is removed. A cotton swab and band-aid replaces it.

• You are finished.

The first mistake the technician made was with the needle. She slid it into the vein after having him clench his fist but rather than leave it there she began to move it.

Imagine your arm lying stretched out on a clock; your hand is pointing towards the 12. The needle is inserted from the 12 in the direction of the 6. Being dissatisfied with the positioning she turns the needle to the 9 o’clock position. Nope, it didn’t work. It is now switched to 3 o’clock before settling back in the 12 to 6 position. In the process she lifts and lowers it a couple of times. Imagine how that would feel.

As could be expected Max howled and we were stunned. We had never seen such a botched job.

Once the needle was in place and the first tube was inserted Max was never told to open his fist so the blood trickled out slowly and painfully. He cried the whole time.

When it was done they congratulated my son on how brave he had been and gave him some graham crackers. Just before we left my wife turned to them and told them that we had never had problems bringing him in for blood tests but he would probably not want to do it again. He had never been in so much pain and in fact until now he had only ever felt “the pinch”.

I am convinced they sent someone new down to practice on my son. Why else would a supervisor offer to hold his arm down while she was working? That had never been done previously. It is true the first time Max gave blood he sat on my lap and howled but that was before the needle ever came near him. He was very young at the time. It took over an hour but when it was finally completed I think he was surprised how little it hurt.

Even though he has never liked having it done the only struggles we had were when we tried to get him there. Once he was in the seat he would always sit through it without a whimper.

And he always gets a prize when it is over. Today he got a pen with four different inks inside. He can switch to whichever color he chooses at any one time. He has been asking for one of these for awhile and today he got it.

Even though he has his prize my wife and I know it is going to be a real struggle from now on to get him there. Why do they have to let novices practice on our children?

Frankly, I would like to get Max off any drug that requires blood tests anyway. And I would be much happier if he could get off of the drugs all together!

The beginning of last week end was a blast!

On Thursday Max and I went camping in the White Mountains. This started out as an experiment. Except for Cub Scout overnights my son and I have never gone away by ourselves. I wanted to see how we would handle any meltdown he might have in front of other people. He was great; nothing happened.

Friday we took the Cog Railway up Mount Washington. Our original plan was to just drive up, do the train, and then come home. We both decided that a 5 hour round trip drive would be just too much so we added the camping. Max and I had a lot of fun “riding the rails” and being on top of the mountain.

But then we came home. We walked in the door on Saturday morning…and all hell broke loose. The fun and good times were completely forgotten. Max snapped. Nothing we did was right. He was screaming and yelling. Several times he threatened to hit us.

He spent more time getting time outs and consequences for the rest of the weekend. We noticed that he was unhappy as well.

What prompted all of these?

• Maybe he doesn’t like end of the fun times.

• Or perhaps it is similar to the way a lot of kids with disorders go through school life. That is, they are able to keep things together during the day but once they get home they are in a safe environment where they can lose control.

• My wife believes that this is the same as when we go away whether for one day or several. Max is able to keep in control during the trip but then he needs that release time once he gets home.

But then Max and Dad are tired once we get home. For whatever reason we tend to be grumpy too. I know that my son reacts badly to my bad humor.

• Our doctor is convinced it is due to the food Max eats. He won’t touch any of the meals his Mom creates. It is not because they are terrible; they are in fact quite good. As a result he tends to eat both junk and fast foods on a regular basis which isn’t terribly healthy.

It could be any or all of these reasons. Or it could be something else.

But I think that whatever it is Max’s reactions are not the result of conscious thought. I believe that he is having such a good time he doesn’t realize that he is winding tighter and tighter like a spring. When he finds a safe place like home the catch on the spring lets lose and he loses control

Once that happens he doesn’t know how to stop his explosions. And the longer they go on the more escalated he gets.

One thing I do know is that he is very unhappy while this is going on. When the storm subsides he is very apologetic. He has also been known to cry, like this weekend…which is very rare for him. He thinks that he should never show tears.

By Sunday evening things were back to normal. Of course, it was bedtime and he was asleep almost immediately. Both my wife and I slept through several programs on the couch.

So it turned out to be an exciting weekend. The first part had a lot of ups. The second half was very down. We are hoping that the tools that his counselors are teaching him and changes in his diet will help level things off so that we can go away more often.

In the end we want him to be a happier kid.

I just received some disturbing news today.

I work part time as a pca, that is, a Personal Care Attendant. These are people that help the disabled and elderly with chores they cannot do easily for themselves. I fill in as I am needed when someone’s regular pca is unable to make a scheduled time or if a client needs something during an “off” hour when no one is scheduled anyway.

I have one client that employs two pcas on a regular basis. They divide up the days between each other but both come in at 8 in the morning and leave at noon. They then come back at 6 at night and stay until 9.

She was recently thinking of firing one of them. The girl is an alcoholic and will disappear for days drinking heavily or she will check herself into rehab. At the same time wine has been disappearing from the house. My client feels terribly about wanting to do this because the pca really has a problem. But when it happens she has to scrounge around and fill in the times the girl is not available.

I will pick up some of the hours occasionally but I can’t be there for all of them.

This wasn’t the disturbing news however. It has to do with the other pca. You see, we work on the clock. This means that each week our clients fill out and sign time sheets for us. These are turned into the state which sends out payment checks to us.

It seems my client noticed that when the other pca was filling out her sheets she was putting down a start time of 7:30 in the morning. As I mentioned earlier she doesn’t begin work until 8; so she is getting paid for an extra half hour each day. After discovering this my client went over her time sheets for the passed year and found out this girl had started initially by filling out the correct time. Then part way through the year she began entering 7:45. This went on for awhile but apparently when she realized my client hadn’t noticed the change she decided to add the extra half hour.

But this isn’t all of it. My client will cash checks a lot of times and use the money to buy groceries and essentials. For some time she was noticing that the money was going very quickly; she assumed she was just buying more things than she remembered. But now she realizes that this pca has been stealing the money.

What can she do? Many people have told her to fire both of them but then what? She will have to interview for two open positions. But this has been rough on her. She started looking for people for the first pca. One girl came highly recommended by a friend of hers. She met her and loved her. The girl was smart, capable, and would be able to do the job without any problems.

The day before she hired her the friend called all upset. He had just discovered that the girl had been stealing his money and medicine. He had gone to the police about it and found out they already knew all about her; she does this on a regular basis. He was very apologetic when he told my client.

I know these people are thinking that the money is coming from the state so who’s going to miss it if they take a little more. The drugs are paid for by insurance so these won’t be missed either. And what little pocket money that disabled or elderly people have will be more than compensated by Social Security.

But this isn’t really the case:

• The state money is budgeted; each client has a certain amount to use for pcas. If one gets more than they are supposed to, another will get less.

• There are no extras on prescription medicines. If a doctor orders 10 pills the pharmacist will not include an extra one or two. And for a lot of medications the insurance company will only pay for the amount prescribed. That is, if a patient runs out before the end of a month and requires more the extra will not be paid for.

• Social Security sends out one check per month for a specific amount. They will not replace any money that is stolen.

• The bottom line is that it is the client that is being hurt.

So now she is very discouraged. She has decided she will keep the thief. The woman has her own addictions that she has been fighting. My client is going to sit down and have a talk with her. She plans on telling her that this passed year was a bonus period but from now on everyone is going to follow the rules. Only time worked will be signed for on the time sheets. She won’t be cashing checks anymore either so that there won’t be any cash available for the taking.

It was very disappointing for me to hear all of this. Most pcas are honest, wonderful, and caring people. I like to think I am too. We are there to help people who have trouble doing things on their own. Sadly, in every profession there are bad apples that can ruin it for everyone else.

Last Thursday my son and I went camping at Mount Washington in New Hampshire. Our initial goal was just to ride the Cog Railway up to it but since it is a 5 hour drive round trip we decided to break it up. That is, we would drive up on Thursday. Spend the night at a camp ground and then do the train on Friday. After that we would go home.

Mount Washington is the tallest mountain in the Northeastern part of the United States. It is over 6200 feet high and is known for its dangerous and very changeable weather. But today we got some surprising news: at the top it was 63 degrees and very little wind. This meant we would be able to leave the winter coats in the car.

I had heard for years how exciting the train ride was up the mountain. One friend told me that it was worth any price…but take a lot of pictures.

When Max and I arrived we were presented with something out of the past. This small train was built in the mid 1860s and sits outside a large old train station. There are actually 10 of them which consist of a passenger car that holds about 60 people and a small engine that pushes it up the slope.

To give you an idea what it looks like I found this clip on YouTube:

When we first arrived Max and I had to check in. This meant converting the tickets we got online into real ones. Then we had to wait. The train hadn’t arrived back down the mountain from its first trip so we wandered around taking pictures. This one is of the first train used on the line:

This picture came from the Cog Railway website. Max’s photos have not been developed yet.

It wasn’t long before we heard an “ALL ABOARD” bellowed from the train conductor. The passengers lined up ready to hand in their tickets. I had made sure that Max and I were first because I knew he’d love the seats just inside the door. These would give a perfect view of the tracks in front of us as we chugged up the side of the mountain.

As we settled in the conductor informed us we were sitting in one of the new biodiesel trains. They still have one that is powered by coal and that runs once a day at 9 am. I must say this was our only disappointment because we had been looking forward to that one. I also noticed that the whistles are different. The newer ones sound like a regular train whistle.

I won’t go into any detail about the ride up. The nice thing was that the conductor also acted as our tour guide pointing out notable objects along the way. It took an hour and we not only passed many hikers climbing along the tracks but also a lot of incredible sights. Max enthusiastically took pictures on the way to the top. At the peak I couldn’t resist photographing him standing next to the summit marker.

But of course once there the first thing he found was the requisite gift shop. This is where his buying addiction kicked in. He was more interested in getting the moose back scratcher, the Mount Washington Park Ranger badge, and the “this bike climbed Mount Washington” bumper sticker than seeing the sights.

This was totally different from when we hiked up Mount Monadnock last fall. Then he couldn’t get enough of climbing the rocks and pointing out the sights to his struggling old man.

We spent an hour on top of the mountain before it was time to board the train again and head below. On the way down the conductor became the brakeman. It was now his job to spin the massive wheels at the front of the passenger car to make sure we didn’t descent too quickly. Like on the way up it took an hour to get back to the train’s base station.

This is another clip from YouTube showing the return trip:

As I mentioned earlier it is never a complete trip unless Max is begging to buy stuff. But I’ll tell you one thing, on the way down that scratcher did a great job on my back and on his. But like everything else he buys my son forgot about his new prizes immediately after returning to our home in Massachusetts.

The big plus about our trip is that except for the buying Max’s disorders did not present themselves very much. This was a good thing. I had been worried that this could be a make or break event. That is, if he wasn’t able to remain calm and enjoy the time we had we just might not be able to do it again.

But it was successful and we are now planning our next trips for the summer.

I can’t wait!

Recently I was talking to my 9 year old, Max. It is summer now and I mentioned that we hadn’t started planning what we will be doing. I asked him what he would like. He said,

“I want to go camping.”

“Great idea. Where do you want to camp?”

“At Mount Washington.”

“I like that. And what do you want to do when we are there?”

“Take the cog railway to the top of the mountain.”

“You know, I think that is a great plan. Why don’t we do it.”

“When?”

“We will leave on Thursday.” Today was Sunday.

Max was excited; he couldn’t wait.

I didn’t tell him I had already planned the trip to Mount Washington in Northern New Hampshire on Thursday. We would camp out overnight and take the train up the mountain on Friday morning. I had already bought the train tickets and scheduled the campsite. Except for packing we were all set to go.

Isn’t it nice we think alike?

Because Max is still in school and has afternoon programs it was my job to pack and get ready. I cleaned and packed the tent and sleeping bags, food, water, and clothes. But then of course there were other things that Max wanted to take. By the time the car was loaded it looked like we were going for a week instead of one night.

And then there were his meds. I was a little worried about how I was going to keep track of all of them. My wife came up with a great idea. She bought a box of those small yellow envelopes. She then loaded them up with the correct dosages. After that she labeled them with their days and times. Perfect.

I suppose it would have been easy if Max’s meds were all the same each time of day but they are set up so that he gets different ones at different times. Not only that some of them have to be cut in half. The envelopes worked great!

Since we were leaving on Thursday he ended up missing two days of school. Generally this would be a problem because he loves going but this was a special case. He was genuinely excited about going north.

The drive took 3 hours so we were both ready to relax when we got there. As we went to check in at the camp I noticed Max was getting worried. I asked him what the problem was and he pointed to several signs posted around the door. We were in bear country. These were warnings to watch out for them.

I spoke to the camp owner and he assured me that he hadn’t seen a bear come through in two years. That was great but a short time later Max was talking to his kids. They informed him that they saw one every day during the school year. They would pass it on the bus as they passed through the next town over. Apparently the residents were feeding it. It seemed like they were trying to make it a pet. But if they weren’t careful they would be in for a rude awakening. Bears don’t make good pets.

We spent the afternoon swimming in the pool and Max made friends. One little girl he met was disappointed. It seems that her older sister had been the one to encounter the camp bear two years before. She wanted to see one too but it hadn’t happened yet. Her family only had two days left at their campsite.

Dinner was fun; not really. I had set up the grill to cook hot dogs and beans but it took over an hour just to get the coals hot enough. I always use a chimney to get things going since I don’t use lighter fluid. It generally takes 20 minutes before the food goes on. That night it took over an hour to get a half way decent fire.

While I was waiting to cook Max kept bringing new friends over to see what was happening so they got to see the non-cook at work.

After dinner and some ice cream that we got at the camp store Max was ready for bed. He was asleep by 8:00. Not having anything else to do I turned in and was asleep by 8:30. I ended up waking at midnight and just lay there thinking about bears. I kept imagining them snuffling around the tent.

In the meantime my son was restless. He kept sitting up, looking around, and then lying down. Several times he would call me; convinced I was gone. I would calmly tell him I was still there sleeping beside him.

In the morning we struggled awake and ate breakfast. After that we headed out to the Mt Washington Cog Railway to ride up the mountain. This was sort of a compromise. We really wanted to ride the train even though we had the options of driving up or climbing. I had been told it was too scary by car and climbing could take a very long time.

The drive from the campsite to the mountain is gorgeous. We were in the middle of the Presidential Range which is in the northern most part of the White Mountains. Every where you look there is a mountain or a steep hill covered in greenery.

The one draw back is that there is not alot of cell phone service. We learned that if you are driving and you find a connection pull over quickly. It can be lost just as quickly as it was found. When we discovered one we called Mom to tell her what was going on.

We had to let her know that plans had changed. Originally after the train ride we were going to head home but we decided to stay one more night. She liked this idea since it meant more time for her to relax. And luckily she had packed extra meds just in case.

After that we continued on the road to the train. When I planned the trip I made sure that our stops weren’t too complicated. The camp was 10 miles from the highway on a smaller road and the train was another 10 miles off the same road. So everything was easy.

After the train it was more swimming and playing at the camp. I tried to cook again that night but I couldn’t get the coals working at all so Max and I decided to go out for dinner. We found a nice family restaurant, ate, and then returned to camp for another ice cream. I was able to keep my son up a little later that night but we were both asleep by 9.

It was another restless night for both of us. It didn’t help that a family with two large dogs arrived in the evening to start their vacation. The dogs barked and the people partied until 4 in the morning. Now mind you it wasn’t just a bunch of kids. It was Mom and Dad, Grandma, and two teenagers. All were up having a good time.

During the night they wandered up and down the camp roads talking and shining their flashlights into the tents. It seems that one of them had had too much to drink and kept crashing into things; apologizing as they went. I didn’t mind too much because I figured that the noise was keeping away the bears.

Then the rain started; it was about 3 am. I could hear it pelting against the tent as it fell. Max slept through it until about 5. He really needed to go to the bathroom so we climbed out of the tent. Since we didn’t bring any rain gear with us we threw towels over our heads and headed out.

The rain had been coming down so hard we found that everything was flooded. Max and I slogged to the restrooms in 4 inch of deep water. When we got done we headed back to our tent where we found that the site had also flooded and everything including the tent was soaked.

We packed everything up and stowed it all in the car. And then we sat huddled in it until the office opened at 8. During that time we noticed that in the next site over the dogs were missing; the tents were gone; and the two pickup trucks had disappeared.

I assumed that they couldn’t handle the rain and had left long before us. After we got home someone suggested that maybe they had been thrown out for all of the noise. There was a rule after all that quiet time was from 9 at night to 7 in the morning. They certainly weren’t quiet.

It was a wonderful trip though the rain put a damper on our last day. Our revised plan had been to spend the morning swimming before checking out at noon. After that we were going to stop at a place called “The Basin” to do some hiking. We were expecting to get home by 4 in the afternoon.

However, with all of the torrential down pours we headed straight for home and arrived at 11 o’clock.

My regular readers may have noticed that this post was a little different than most. Generally I talk about Max’s disorders or some other illness that is being addressed. Except for the mention of medications at the beginning there was nothing to talk about.

My son thrived on being out in the wilderness. I can almost imagine him living outside permanently when he is older. There were no upsets; he just had fun.

Except for the fact that Dad was a little grumpy, everything was perfect.

It is the 4th of July weekend. 4 days of fun in the sun, barbeques, fireworks, beaches, and relaxation.

But in our family that never happens. My son Max gets extremely agitated if his time is not structured. He needs to know what is happening every minute of the day. He doesn’t like relaxation time. He wants to keep moving.

During the week he knows that from the moment he gets up in the morning at 6:00 he will be:

• having breakfast, getting dressed, doing homework

• riding to school on the van at 7:20

• at school for 6 hours from 8:30 to 2:30

• coming home on the van at 2:30

• then seeing one of his counselors or mentor for an hour or two hours playing with Dad or friends until bedtime fitting in dinner somewhere along the way

Weekends are tougher to schedule. A lot of his friends are not around. He has trouble playing by himself. If my wife and I can’t come up with things to do he becomes short tempered and agitated. Nothing is right and we all end up miserable.

And forget about long holiday weekends. Unless every moment of every day is accounted for we will be subject to explosion after explosion. Max would not be able to function properly without knowing ahead of time what he will be doing.

My wife and I planned as much as we could. Friday night we all went to a concert down on the town common. While there Max discovered free pony rides and a jump house. That kept him occupied for quite some time. And of course he had the requisite hotdogs and ice cream topped off with some Sprite.

Saturday was more of the same. The town festival lasted for 3 days this year so Max was able to ride the ponies some more. And there were two additions to the schedule: the road races and the fireworks. But as usual since this was Saturday, in the morning Max and I went to breakfast with my father-in-law.

This made for a very long day for Max. He tends to be an early riser; usually 5 or 6 in the morning. On Sunday however he didn’t wake up until 8:30. He probably would have slept even longer but our cat didn’t like it. He constantly howled at the door until Max awoke and let him into the room.

Sunday we saved for church, and a barbeque at my niece’s house. On Monday Max and I started doing some planning for a trip we are making toward the end of the week. We then spent the afternoon at the beach.

If you have read this far it sounds like it was just a nice weekend. It certainly isn’t too bad right now. I am writing this on the beach while I watch Max in the water swimming and meeting the kids. Right now he is floating on his boogie board and chatting up the girls. It is 4:40 and I suspect he will want to stay at least until 6:30.

That is fine with me. I can continue working while I watch him enjoying himself. I haven’t joined him in this pond yet. The last time I was here I picked up an infection so I am a little nervous about going in.

But it hasn’t all been good this weekend. The structure we put in place has helped tremendously. I think this has been the best long weekend we’ve spent so far. Max has had a lot of meltdowns and problems though. Playing with friends at the fireworks got him pretty agitated. And the barbeque on Sunday was extremely trying for him.

Even with all of that I think it has been the best long weekend we’ve spent together so far.

But I’d rather see him have fun. If we can get Max exercised and concentrating on good things it keeps the problems to a minimum. As a result my wife and I are able to relax and enjoy things too.

Saturday July 3rd was a very exhausting day for my son Max. But it didn’t end early. It is part of the 4th of July weekend. What would this holiday be without fireworks? No matter how tired he was there was no way he would miss it.

Our town has a nice display every year. But because of the recession and cut backs in the town budget we sometimes miss one. This year everything was donated which was an awesome help.

We always have a choice where we want to watch them. We can sit in our back yard and get a perfect view; we are that close. There is also the option of sitting on a neighbor’s front yard down the street. They have a nice view too but in addition it always turns into a small party with everyone stopping by.

But the spot Max likes best is the school field where the fireworks are shot off. It is only a 5 minute walk from our house so it is an easy choice. And since we don’t have to drive, there are no parking or traffic problems for us.

Generally we grab a blanket and find a spot where we can lie back and watch the sky. There are always lots of people around us so it becomes a real community thing. But if we forget the bug spray we’re in trouble!! Too many mosquitoes this time of year.

This night turned out to be a little different than the rest however. I had been talking to a friend in town earlier in the evening. He and his boys were planning to go as usual but they generally sit on the other side of the field from the display area. He was wondering if he would be able to park this year because there were more people out than there have been in previous ones.

I suggested he park at my house and we would walk over. He thought that was a splendid idea and showed up at 8:30 with two of his boys. Max was ecstatic to have some friends to watch the fireworks with. But they couldn’t be happy with just walking down. The 3 boys pulled bikes and scooters out of the garage and met us over there.

When the adults got there we spread out the blanket; sprayed everyone with bug spray; and settled down to wait. But of course Max couldn’t just sit, he never does. He was up and about running and dancing around all the people that were arriving.

But now we were experiencing 3 boys: Max and his 2 friends. They all have the same issues: adhd, asperger’s, etc. All found it difficult to stay still. They were running and wrestling and causing general mayhem. We had to speak to them at least a thousand times but nothing worked. That is until the fireworks started; then they settled down.

In the mean time my buddy was trying to find his older two boys. They were supposed to be meeting us there but they hadn’t shown up. Even though we were just across the field neither of them could find us. He spent a good half hour on the phone with them before he gave up and told them to meet him at the back door of the school. Both have asperger’s just like their younger brothers; my friend fosters kids like this. After he left we didn’t see him again until the fireworks were over.

The end result is that my wife and I ended up shepherding Max and the 2 younger boys during the display. Luckily we only had to speak to them a couple of times after their Dad left. They were totally in awe over the show and just stared at the sky once it started.

When it was over we guided them back to our house. The traffic picked up and the boys were riding in and around the cars. We had to stop them and make them walk the bikes to the garage to keep them safe. All the while Max was getting even more hyper and it continued until my friend showed up to take the boys home.

And oh by the way; he didn’t find the older two. He just told them on the phone to meet him at a pizza shop near the school after he picked up the younger ones.

It was a long day. Max, his mom, and I were exhausted. We all dropped into bed and for the first time, as I’ve mentioned in several recent posts, my son slept really late the next morning. I like bringing it up so much because my wife and I were able to relax; wake up when we were ready; and do our morning routines without any issues. Hey, I could do with more of these!

The fireworks were great. It was nice having the boys with us but I think next year we will go with just one hyperactive kid. Or maybe not, it isn’t so different either way.