A close friend of mine has a theory: people look for their opposites to get involved with. I’m not talking just in ideology, democrats marrying conservative for example; but physical appearance too. He is a tall blond republican atheist that married a short brunette Christian liberal.
I never bought into this theory considering I am a tall slim brunet Christian borderline conservative that married a short slim brunette Christian borderline conservative.
But as the years have passed I do believe my wife and I have a lot of differences. Not only that, I think that each of us has internal opposites.
Let’s take weather. My wife cannot stand the cold; winter is her least favorite season and she always sleeps with a pile of blankets on the bed. You would think that she’d love the summer heat but she needs the synthetic cold of air conditioning. She actually lowers the temperature as much as she can get away with…and then she still sleeps with that pile of blankets!!
On the other hand I love winter. I love how cold it gets. I am not a fan of air conditioning; I only use it in the car if there are people with me. I don’t sleep very well in the summer with all that cold and blankets.
I don’t like the outside heat but I enjoy saunas and hot baths. I only take showers now because I discovered that I could just fall asleep in the tub and stay there for hours. A lot of people who, like me, have multiple sclerosis are like this.
Another difference between my wife and me is all the talking. She starts from the minute she wakes up until she goes to sleep at night. I believe in short answers to questions. If I spend a day without saying anything at all, it works for me. Generally I don’t have a problem with all the talking. Recently we completed a 13 week course together and she talked quite a bit during the classes. I didn’t say much but people remember all the information “we” contributed so I benefited from the fallout.
And then there is time management. My dad taught me when I was a child to always be at least 15 minutes early for appointments; and allow more time if I am unsure how to get there. Long before airport guidelines suggested that people arrive 2 hours before their flights my dad insisted on it. This was to insure that we are able to get through potential traffic and long ticket lines.
On the other hand my wife’s goal is to be on time for appointments; that means walking in the door at the scheduled time. You know that no matter what time you go to a doctor’s office, for example, you will still have to wait awhile. She doesn’t want to wait too long before seeing him. So many times I will be ready to go early but I then have to sit and wait for her.
I can see where she gets it, her mom schedules her time so she actually leaves the house at the moment she has her appointment. What I mean is, if she has a 9 o’clock scheduled, she leaves the house at 9. My father in law, like me, is always ready early but he will sit in the car and read the newspaper while waiting for her. He has been doing this for 60 years so he is used to it.
My son Max appears to have inherited all of these traits. Like me, he loves winter and will spend hours in the snow. He loves air conditioning cold but, like his mother, will sleep with a lot of blankets. He is not fond of heat but will stay in the shower for hours and I know he will love saunas when he gets older.
As for talking, he never stops. Well hardly ever, if he is angry or in project mode he won’t say a word for hours.
He is very good at being early for things he wants to do of course; like going to the movies or amusement parks. He is also always 10 minutes early or more waiting for the school van in the morning. But as you can imagine, for things he isn’t interested in he is always late.
He is a brunet, and slim, but at the moment unlike his parents he is a liberal (at 8 years old).
How about my friend? He and his wife had two kids and both are blonds and both appear to be liberal democrats.
I’m not trying to point out good things versus bad things here. I just want to show differences and how not only opposites can attract but that there can be opposites inside of us too.
What about you? Are you with someone that is opposite? Or do you have opposing forces inside of you? What are your thoughts?
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