My Dad was a school teacher.  He started out in kindergarten and over the years worked his way upwards until he reached twelfth grade.  He got along well with the students but most especially with a young boy who was retarded.  As he grew Ryan never progressed beyond the sixth grade level.  He was in my dad’s kindergarten class and actually moved through the grades with him.

After about twenty years of teaching dad went on to other things.  Ryan kept in touch and would call regularly.  In fact many times in my teenage years and into my twenties I would answer the phone and end up having long conversations with him.  Most often he only wanted to talk about what a great man and friend my dad was.  I had no problem listening to all of that.  By this time he was in his late thirties and early forties; but even with a man’s voice he spoke like a child.

On a regular basis Ryan would take the train in to my dad’s office and they would go to lunch.  Dad always made time for him.  His own kids weren’t jealous; he did the same for us too.

I don’t really know what Ryan’s home life was like.  I only know that his dad had died and it was just his mom who took care of him.  What did he do when he wasn’t visiting my dad?  I never found out.  He was kind of like a distant relative that never came to visit.

Then one day he called and my mom answered the phone.  He was crying and wanted to speak to my dad.

He said, “I want to tell him I just lost one of my two best friends.  My mom just died.”

Mom hesitated a minute before telling him, “I’m sorry Ryan but…Mr Corr died last week.”  Ryan never called again.

I’ve thought about it a lot over the past twenty five years since my dad died.  What happened to Ryan?  He lost his two best friends inside of a week.  Where did he go?  What did he do?

5MinSpecNeeds asked in Twitter “Do you worry about what will happen to your child with special needs after you are gone?”

A close friend used to worry about that.  Not about his kids, they are healthy and happy moms now.  He worried about children with special needs.  He worried about his sisters.  One has multiple sclerosis and is now living in a nursing home.  The other was severely brain damaged in a car accident when she was 16.  Mentally she is still 16 even though she is in her late fifties.

He had been a successful restaurant owner before walking away to start a financial planning firm specializing in helping children and adults with disabilities.  He was instrumental in setting up over a dozen charities and putting together events to raise money to help.  And he worked with companies to develop products to help families take care of their loved ones with special needs.

As a financial planner his goal was to set up programs to allow his clients to learn and grow every day.  He would also put together contingency plans for them if their caregivers could not support them anymore for whatever reason.

Sadly, he died when he was 54 after living with diabetes for years; but he left many children and his sisters with the support they needed once their parents were gone.

We can’t leave things to chance.  We never know what is going to happen.  I still think of Ryan and wonder if he got the support he needed when his two best friends died.